Ok, so it's been awhile!

Almost a year in fact! So much has happened in this past year! Mark is loving retirement and doing very well with his new job as an oceanographic electrician - and has had two promotions in 18 months and is jonesing for another one soon! He's been told it usually takes guys 9 years to get to the point he has gotten in just under 2! He is truly a wonderful worker!

Speaking of work, I have a job! I have taken my degree in Legal Sciences and am a paralegal for a busy family/criminal law firm. There are two of us and we are kept hopping. Love my job and LOVE the people I work for/with. We are treated like family. The hours are perfect for our family (10:30-4:30), with the office closed at noon on Fridays (still getting paid for the full day!). In the summer the other Paralegal and I take turns having every other Friday off. See? Perfect job!

Sam is well established on his own. He is a starving/working college student. He is looking forward to moving in to an apartment with his best buddy in October and getting out of the place he is in. It will just be a better fit for him. He is in college to become either an ESL teacher in Japan OR a high school level Japanese teacher. He has not decided which path to take yet but it will involve Japanese somehow.

Paige is in Junior high and loving it. She is still in a gifted program but at the Junior High level it is called the "Magnet Program". She will do this to the end of grade 8 and then will take AP classes throughout the rest of high school. She will start the Running Start program in grade 11, which will allow her to have almost all her credits for an AA by the time she graduates high school. She has her life mapped out, right down to the University she will attend. I know that the best laid plans and all, but for now it is fun to watch her map it out.

Ben is still in the Venture program in grade 5. He will do this till the end of grade 6 and then follow in Paiges footsteps. He recently did the state wide testing for reading and math and his results put him 8 grade levels above where he is at! His teacher said the only reason he didn't get further in the math test was he doesn't know trigonometry - that he did the algebra part after he figured out all the formula on his own! He sure did NOT get his math gene from me!

Shelby is 18 and has graduated high school. This means we are DONE with her insane mothers CRAP. No more child support. Mary has filed for college tuition, but the attorney I work for is also Marks attorney and he has said that he will fight this for us for FREE and that Mary really has no chance. Shelby hasn't spoken to Mark in over 4 years, which is sad for both Mark and Shelby. As my best friend said, if Mary had just accepted Mark (and eventually me when we were married) into Shelbys life, we could have made a great support team for Shelby. Unfortunately, Mary could not do this and has caused remarkable turmoil in Shelby's life. Mary is now on husband number 4 (Mark was number one) so we shall see how much more damage she does to Shelby.

All in all, life is good. Busy and hectic. Relationships take work, and ours is not any different. After 14 years we are still together and are successfully navigating all the changes that have occurred (from full time sea duty to retirement is NOT an easy change!).....

Hugs to you all...

Jaye

364 days...that's less than a year!

Yup. 364 days. Less than a year. The insanity that is Marks ex wife will be done in less than a year. I am glad I didn't know back then what I was getting into, because honestly, I am not sure I would have if I had known what it was going to be like. Don't get me wrong. Mark is my world. We have an amazing life. Wonderful kids. I wouldn't change it. But hindsight truly is 20/20. It has taken a lot on my part to put up with his ex wife and all her insanity. Truly a lot. I have had to pay out thousands of dollars to attorneys fees and unnecessary medical bills while we have sacrificed and done without at times. And to be perfectly honest, I have resented it many times. There has been no reason for all of this insanity. Other than Mary cannot function at a normal level. But there is no fixing her, I have realized that over the years. I cannot control it or fix it. So I carry on living my wonderfully happy life. Knowing that I am truly at peace most days, and on the days that I have had enough, I just breathe in deeply and say 'only 364 more days'! :)
In other more important news, I have a job! A real, out in the adult world, using my degree JOB! WoOhOo! I will be working for Marks attorney (so having to deal with Mary HAS had some perks! lol) and as I know everyone in the office, I know it will be a great place to work. I am excited. And nervous. And EXCITED! and I need new clothes! And EXCITED! I wasn't actually looking for a job but this one really just fell in my lap. And everything has fallen into place. The hours are perfect for our family, 10:30 to 4:30 every day, with weekends off! It will allow me to keep our morning routine the same and get me home at a decent hour every evening. A good friend has been recruited (with a cash bribe!) to drive Ben from the bus stop to our house every day. He is old enough now to be on his own for an hour. Paige is thrilled to be allowed to walk from her Junior High....stop. Read that again. Yes, JUNIOR HIGH! GAH! How did that happen?? Anyways, she will walk from the Junior high down the hill to the new YMCA that was built this spring. Most of her friends go there after school, so she is thrilled! She can go for a swim, or do her homework, or take a class...and will be there for less than two hours before I (or Mark) picks her up. It all just works out so very very well!
Sometimes, when you just wait for it, the Plan falls into place....

Hugs to all,
Jaye
Ps. Happy Canada Day!

Life.....

Life has become so insanely busy. I always have good intentions about blogging. And then life intrudes! Paige and Ben are busy with baseball season. Two practices and a game or two a week. Mark and I just finished teaching our spring session of Divorce Recovery (13 weeks, twice a year!). I am still insanely busy with school, and Mark is busy being a superstar at work, and getting lots of overtime.

The MOST exciting thing has been that my brother got married last week! He is in his mid 30's and has taken his time to find the right gal. And oh, she is the one. She is pretty, and funny, and smart, and oh so perfect. We heart her. And he hearts her. and that is all that matters! 

Some things don't change. Mary is still being ...........Mary. She has taken Shelby to EIGHTEEN doctors visits in the past four months. You read that right. That means 18 bills. All for nothing. Turns out Shelby is perfectly healthy. Mark emailed Mary and told her that after living with her mom for 17 years, maybe what Shelby needs is a therapist (sometimes he can be so precise!). But you know what? I wouldn't trade any of it for the world. I am in a good place, and all of this is really showing Shelby what life is really all about. Mark will always be able to say he did his most, his best, his fullest for her. And in 12 months our obligations are over. At that point, it is up to Shelby to seek Mark out, and perhaps then, the two of them can do their thing, without Mary and her insanity in the mix.

Spring is 'supposed' to be here, but we have had only 29 days without rain so far this year. It will be interesting to see what this winter will be like. We have projects in the planning stages, with the entire renovation of our home as the top one!

We are trying to go home for Thanksgiving, but with gas prices what they are, we can't see spending over 2000 dollars for six days. Hopefully things will change......

In the meantime, life goes on full speed ahead. And I love it.

Hugs to all,

Jayae

13 Months and counting....

On May first, Mark will make another child support payment, just as he does every month. Then we are down to just 13 more! He has not heard from nor seen Shelby in almost three years. This of course is because of Mary and her influence and insanity, which never seems to get any better. I have said in the past that she is insane, and I stick by that comment.
Her latest thing is trotting Shelby out to every Doctor and Specialist known to man. I have always thought that Mary suffers from "Munchausen by Proxy" and in fact, she fits the profile perfectly. Shelby has had over 15 doctors appointments in the past three months alone! Anyways, her latest one was today, an 'echocardiogram' for her heart. Mary said that she had mentioned to the Doctor that Shelby had a hole in her heart when she was born. The doctor asked her more about it and Mary admitted that it had closed up and Shelby was fine, but wanted it checked. When she emailed Mark about it, he said that the test was not necessary and that Mary should cancel the appointment. Mary emailed back saying that she could not do so as Mark emailed her too late for her to cancel and that there would have been a charge for her to cancel within the 24 hour window. Mark called the clinic and there is NO cancellation charge, people can cancel ANY time, AND the office is open 24/7 so Mary could have called at any point in time. Another example of how she just does whatever she wants with Shelby and blatantly disregards the parenting plan that says that she must include Mark. She just makes a show of it....
Anyways, the whole point of this is that in 13 months, months that are going to fly by, we shall be done with the constant silliness that comes with dealing with Mary and her delusional world.
The person I really feel badly for is Shelby. After all, in 13 months WE will no longer have to deal with Mary. Shelby will always have to live with her mothers insanity. God Help Her.....

Jaye

Is it Spring Yet?

The calendar says it is. My flip flops say it is. But one look out the window and you know it is NOT spring around here. A whopping 35 degrees today and it is April 6th! Actually hailed so much today that it looks like snow, What The Junk?? Bring on the sunshine already, six months of rain is MORE than enough!
I am a big fan of four seasons and the past few years it seems that WA state has only two: rainy season and two weeks of summer. I really don't mind the rain, it is the gray that accompanies it and I am done. I want sunshine and to wear flip flops and capris and I want to be able to know that if Mark calls from work and says 'lets grill out tonight' that by the time he gets home it will STILL be nice enough outside to grill out! Normally I wouldn't whine so much about the weather but I am really wanting to start running again and every time I set out to run it is raining. UGH.
So here is to hoping for Sunshine and lollipops and bunnies and flowers and all things spring like!

Have a good NON rainy day my friends!
Jaye

Happy 17th Birthday Shelby.....

It is Shelbys birthday today. She is 17. I met Mark when she was two and married him when she was four. I have known her for 15 years. She has grown in my heart for 15 years. Because Mary is so bitter, and angry, and hostile, we have no contact with Shelby and haven't for 2 years. If we did, this is what I would like to say to her on her birthday:

Dear sweet Shelby...I have known you since you were a toddler. When I met you, Sam was 5 and Katie was 8...I was long past the 'baby' stage, and I remember the joy I had when I went shopping with your daddy for things to put inside a box for you for Easter. Colouring books and crayons, and special little things. I hope you had as much fun with those things as we did shopping for them!

I remember you coming out to Washington when you were 8, and I was very pregnant with Ben. You loved to pat my tummy, and were so excited to be having a baby brother to go with your sister!
And now here we are, with you turning 17! Proms and graduation, boyfriends and driving.....so many new things you are experiencing. I wish we could share it all with you. I am sorry that you cannot have your mom and dad in your life. I am sorry there has been so much pain caused by your parents divorce.

I wish I could change it, but I can't. What I can do is to let you know that we will always love you and you always have a place in our home and in our hearts.

Happy Birthday Sweet Girl!

Hugs to you!

Jaye