Happy Mothers Day to all those out there who are mothers. By biology...or adoption...or the men who have had to step up and be a mother....or those who are parenting their children's children. Mothering is not simply an act of giving birth - it is so much more....... and so there is this day set aside to honour our mothers.
And every year I would get my feelings hurt when Mothers Day didn't go as I pictured it 'should be'. Oh, I would get some Hallmark cards and maybe a gift or two...but basically, mothers day still involved me doing laundry..and cooking...and cleaning..and really getting pissed off that I was 'not appreciated around here'. And then one day I had an AHA moment. It was MOTHERS Day....I was a MOTHER. This day was for me to do whatever I wanted to do - not a day for me to create a vision of what I wanted.......and so I started a tradition with my best friend.
We get up early, we hit Starbucks and grab a coffee, then we get on the ferry and spend the day in Seattle at Pike Place Market. We go to all of our favourite shops - we start with breakfast at Le Panier - a true french bakery, where we have a jambon morney. This little creation is too heavenly to describe to do it justice. Suffice it to say that it is layer upon layer of flaky pastry that surrounds thin slices of ham and Swiss cheese all baked in buttery goodness. A good start to a day created to celebrate all that I do as a mum yes?
We then hit Sur la Table for all of our dreamy kitchen gadgets and where we each buy ourselves a nice little something that we have dreamed of having in our kitchens - we are both foodies after all! This year I bought myself four mini fluted pans. Perfect for mini quiches, or fruit tarts....or simply to look at and sigh. I also bought dill pickle popcorn seasoning as a fun thing to put on our popcorn (we all love dill pickle chips, so maybe dill pickle popcorn?).
Then we hit Giada de Laurentiis's family market. If you do not know who she is, check her out on food network. She is a sweetheart of an Italian chef who makes cooking look easy..and who gives us inspiration for our own family meals. This year I bought some delicious looking 'real' Italian egg noodles for some pasta dish I shall make, and some authentic pepperoni sausages for Mark - love a man who loves his meat (and I shall not go any further with THAT topic!)
After those three stops, we simply wander the market. The cacophony of sounds and sights is enough to fill up one's senses. I have always said that I am not a crafty person. But I do have an 'art' form that I indulge in and that is cooking and baking. The creativity that surrounds a good meal is soothing to my soul, and so a whole market dedicated to fresh, whole, seasonal food is just what I need to fill up my soul. We always find a fun place for lunch - this year it was a hole in the wall place that served up fantastic sandwiches on ciabatta bread that we ate at a tin table on a cobblestone alley.
It is a day of girlfriends bonding, of good food being eaten, of ideas being added to our 'art form'.....we collect spices, recipes, and pantry basics to create meals for the months to come. This day has become a gift that I give myself. I spend quality, uninterrupted time with my bestie, and I get to visit all the shops that really call to me.
And most importantly, I have taken the pressure off of my husband and children. Mothers Day is now perfect. It is EXACTLY as I envision it, because I make it happen - I create it. And know what? The cards I get and what is written in them have become more personal since I have taken the pressure off of them. Why should they have to be mind readers and fulfill my idea of a perfect mothers day? That is not their job. Just as my happiness is not their job. Happiness is an internal thing - something I must find within myself. And so Mothers Day is now the same thing - it has become something I allow myself to acknowledge within myself. Instead of expecting others to tell me that I am a great mum and am appreciated, I allow myself to say that. I am a GOOD mum. I am appreciated. And I celebrate that by doing what I want to do for this entire day.
And so I come home at the end of this day and throw on a load of laundry. And maybe I cook some dinner. But do you know what? It doesn't matter, because this day was PERFECT. From the cards full of genuine words of love and adoration from my husband and children, to the exquisite gift they chose for me, to the day spent with the best friend a girl could have........
So my words to you mums out there are simply this: Mothers Day is YOUR day. Don't expect others to make it perfect, YOU need to make it what YOU envision. Take this one day to focus on yourself. After all, a mother who appreciates herself? Well, she is a better mother and is appreciated by all. Trust me. I have learned this lesson the hard way. I am blessed and loved and appreciated. But I couldn't see it until I acknowledged it myself.
Hugs to you all,
Jaye
Sunday, May 12, 2013
Tuesday, May 07, 2013
We are the ONLY true one....
For the first 30 years of my life I belonged to a very fundamental religion. I was able to escape and have had a fantastic life since. This post isn't about bashing this particular religion (Jehovah's Witness for those who are wondering) or any religion for that matter. What this post is about is the mistaken belief that any one religion, any one group of people are the 'chosen ones'.
I have quite a few blogs that I faithfully follow. They vary in subject matter, author style, and interest. I have two that are interesting to follow when you follow them BOTH. Both are written by gals with the same religious background (not JW for those who are wondering!). One is still very active in her religion and along with her husband, they are raising their five children to be active, involved members of this sect. The other gal is a single mum of two who used to be an active member of this religion but left sometime during her college years. The juxtaposition of reading one devoted member versus the one that left makes for an interesting read. From what I can gather through their blogs, they are both funny, kind, gentle women who are great mums.
The other day I was reading the blog of the active member who is currently on vacation in Europe with her husband. Their five children are state side being looked after by various friends and family members (all of the same church!). The mums blog entries this week are in the form of letters to her children. "This is what daddy and I did today" type postings. A good, fun read......until I got to her latest post.
It seems her and her hubby went to a church of their sect in Denmark. It is a beautiful church (as most churches in Europe are...heck, any building a few hundred years old is going to be magnificent!) and this mum obviously enjoyed visiting. The pictures she took of it are great. Then she said "I love that almost anywhere you go in the world, you can find and feel the spirit that can only be felt in a ( I am leaving the name of her religion out) church". Really? So YOUR religions buildings of worship are the ONLY ones that one can feel the spirit in? How about my friends who are Catholic? Do you think they sit in church on Sunday thinking "loving the sermon, but man is the spirit lacking..I really should be a _________". NO! Every person of faith finds the comfort of the spirit in their church, or in their religious traditions. I find it very arrogant for someone to say that ONLY in THEIR religious places of worship can one feel the spirit. Arrogant, rude, and judgmental.
While I love reading this blog, I am feeling that I need to delete it from my repertoire. I had enough of this type of 'ours is the ONLY one' bullshit when I was a JW. I feel that to keep reading her blog (which supports her and her family btw!) is to support such bigotry. Not sure I want to support someone who feels this way. Is she entitled to love her religion? Yes. Should she embrace her faith? Yes! Should she raise her children in her faith? Yes! Should she preach to all who read her blog, and teach her children that ONLY this religion has the spirit? NO...we are all walking our own path of faithfulness. No one is better or worse than another. We are all just trying to get along on this great big globe. Posts like hers do not add a positive tone to the karmic universe.
Hugs to you all,
Jaye
I have quite a few blogs that I faithfully follow. They vary in subject matter, author style, and interest. I have two that are interesting to follow when you follow them BOTH. Both are written by gals with the same religious background (not JW for those who are wondering!). One is still very active in her religion and along with her husband, they are raising their five children to be active, involved members of this sect. The other gal is a single mum of two who used to be an active member of this religion but left sometime during her college years. The juxtaposition of reading one devoted member versus the one that left makes for an interesting read. From what I can gather through their blogs, they are both funny, kind, gentle women who are great mums.
The other day I was reading the blog of the active member who is currently on vacation in Europe with her husband. Their five children are state side being looked after by various friends and family members (all of the same church!). The mums blog entries this week are in the form of letters to her children. "This is what daddy and I did today" type postings. A good, fun read......until I got to her latest post.
It seems her and her hubby went to a church of their sect in Denmark. It is a beautiful church (as most churches in Europe are...heck, any building a few hundred years old is going to be magnificent!) and this mum obviously enjoyed visiting. The pictures she took of it are great. Then she said "I love that almost anywhere you go in the world, you can find and feel the spirit that can only be felt in a ( I am leaving the name of her religion out) church". Really? So YOUR religions buildings of worship are the ONLY ones that one can feel the spirit in? How about my friends who are Catholic? Do you think they sit in church on Sunday thinking "loving the sermon, but man is the spirit lacking..I really should be a _________". NO! Every person of faith finds the comfort of the spirit in their church, or in their religious traditions. I find it very arrogant for someone to say that ONLY in THEIR religious places of worship can one feel the spirit. Arrogant, rude, and judgmental.
While I love reading this blog, I am feeling that I need to delete it from my repertoire. I had enough of this type of 'ours is the ONLY one' bullshit when I was a JW. I feel that to keep reading her blog (which supports her and her family btw!) is to support such bigotry. Not sure I want to support someone who feels this way. Is she entitled to love her religion? Yes. Should she embrace her faith? Yes! Should she raise her children in her faith? Yes! Should she preach to all who read her blog, and teach her children that ONLY this religion has the spirit? NO...we are all walking our own path of faithfulness. No one is better or worse than another. We are all just trying to get along on this great big globe. Posts like hers do not add a positive tone to the karmic universe.
Hugs to you all,
Jaye
Sunday, April 28, 2013
It took 18 years
I could write for hours on the backstory to Marks divorce. I will keep it simple. He was married very briefly before he married me and fathered a child with his ex wife. The ex wife left Mark, took their child, and moved back to Wisconsin. Appropriate legal papers were filed and life went on. Easy and smooth right? Guess again! What no one could have predicted was that his ex wife slowly unraveled over the years. She went from job to job (fired from each one for various reasons) and husband to husband (she is currently on number four!). She even moved to another country then moved back after 9 months. Through all of this, she dragged their daughter - and made life for us and for her daughter as stressful as she possibly could. Every visitation was a battle. Every phone call Mark made to their daughter was a struggle. Nothing was easy. Ever. But then nothing is easy when you are dealing with someone who has a borderline personality disorder.
But we are finished now. Their daughter is 18, she has graduated high school, and the issue of college is a moot point. It has only been a few days since the 'final' hurdle was jumped, but what a difference it has made in our home. We are not waiting for that other shoe to drop. We don't wait to see what new papers are going to be delivered to our attorneys office (we've had one on retainer for 17 years!). We can live our lives in peace now. No stress. Just calm. It is a glorious feeling and I am reveling in it.
But I am also sad. Sad that Mark and his daughter were cheated out of a good relationship. Sad that Marks daughter does not feel that she can have an open relationship with Mark and our family for fear of her mother going on a three day rant. I am sad that this child has had to have a parade of men in her life, each one being set up as 'dad' only to have him kicked out when her mother was done with them. She has had three 'dads' ripped out of her life, and that makes me sad for her. But I am a woman of Faith, and I believe that someday, somehow it will all come right again.
What makes me most happy is that I can open up this blog again and keep our family and friends up to date on our goings on - complete with pictures and commentary - without fear of it being turned into a court exhibit (yes, that happened!).
So, here is to the start of a new 'normal' for our family! A happy, stress free normal!
Hugs to you all,
Jaye
But we are finished now. Their daughter is 18, she has graduated high school, and the issue of college is a moot point. It has only been a few days since the 'final' hurdle was jumped, but what a difference it has made in our home. We are not waiting for that other shoe to drop. We don't wait to see what new papers are going to be delivered to our attorneys office (we've had one on retainer for 17 years!). We can live our lives in peace now. No stress. Just calm. It is a glorious feeling and I am reveling in it.
But I am also sad. Sad that Mark and his daughter were cheated out of a good relationship. Sad that Marks daughter does not feel that she can have an open relationship with Mark and our family for fear of her mother going on a three day rant. I am sad that this child has had to have a parade of men in her life, each one being set up as 'dad' only to have him kicked out when her mother was done with them. She has had three 'dads' ripped out of her life, and that makes me sad for her. But I am a woman of Faith, and I believe that someday, somehow it will all come right again.
What makes me most happy is that I can open up this blog again and keep our family and friends up to date on our goings on - complete with pictures and commentary - without fear of it being turned into a court exhibit (yes, that happened!).
So, here is to the start of a new 'normal' for our family! A happy, stress free normal!
Hugs to you all,
Jaye
Saturday, July 21, 2012
Again with the gun control...
Our country has had to face yet another massacre. Colorado had some crazy guy go into a theater during the new batman movie premiere and start shooting. The count is up to 12 dead and over 50 injured. Reading some of the posts and blogs from those who were there, I get just a glimpse of the terror that they felt.....I know however that no matter how good my imagination is, I don't even come close to actually getting a hint of what they felt.
Of course, now the rhetoric starts. Mr. Lets Ban Large Soda's from the City because THAT is the root cause of all the fat people has come up with yet another brilliant statement. Lets make gun laws tougher, lets make it harder for people to get guns. Does he not know that all this is going to do is make it harder for law abiding citizens to be armed? Those of us who can breeze through a background check and get a concealed weapons permit will now have to wait longer or even be denied because of tougher laws. Does he think this will stop the crazies? Because as long as there is money to be made, there will be people selling guns illegally. Which means that the criminals will still have complete access to weapons. Any time. Any where. And situations like that in Colorado will still happen.
I am just glad I am married to a United States Navy Medaled Expert Marksman who has passed the background check and who has a concealed weapons permit and who has a glock semi automatic that he carries wherever we go. Cause if our family is in a theater and this sort of crap happens, I know that there is at least a CHANCE that someone can take the piece of crap out before they can hurt any more innocent people. Call me a redneck if you want. I call myself a realist.
Hugs to you all,
Jaye
Of course, now the rhetoric starts. Mr. Lets Ban Large Soda's from the City because THAT is the root cause of all the fat people has come up with yet another brilliant statement. Lets make gun laws tougher, lets make it harder for people to get guns. Does he not know that all this is going to do is make it harder for law abiding citizens to be armed? Those of us who can breeze through a background check and get a concealed weapons permit will now have to wait longer or even be denied because of tougher laws. Does he think this will stop the crazies? Because as long as there is money to be made, there will be people selling guns illegally. Which means that the criminals will still have complete access to weapons. Any time. Any where. And situations like that in Colorado will still happen.
I am just glad I am married to a United States Navy Medaled Expert Marksman who has passed the background check and who has a concealed weapons permit and who has a glock semi automatic that he carries wherever we go. Cause if our family is in a theater and this sort of crap happens, I know that there is at least a CHANCE that someone can take the piece of crap out before they can hurt any more innocent people. Call me a redneck if you want. I call myself a realist.
Hugs to you all,
Jaye
Saturday, June 23, 2012
I may be old fashioned
So many of my girlfriends post pictures of themselves and their daughters on facebook having 'girl weekends' or 'girl time'. These are women my age with daughters Paiges age (13). I am not against 'girl time'. In fact, my girl and I went out for frozen yogurt yesterday as she had early release from school and we had an hour before we had to pick up her brother. We love our time together...and you can often find the two of us lost at Barnes and Noble scouring for our next good read, or sitting in Starbucks having a coffee and hot chocolate and a snack together. Mom and daughter time is great!
So what do I object to? I object to these women turning their 13 year old daughters into their slutty best friends! These girls are dressed in sexy, revealing clothes. Low ride jeans with crop tops and high heels or teeny tiny bikinis. And these moms are taking them for 'girl time' to big hotels and going out on the town (dressed in these sexy outfits).
So to all my fellow mothers let me say some things to you.
A) Your daughter is NOT your best friend. She is your daughter. She HAS best friends, and so should you. If you don't you need to work on that. You are her MOTHER. Which means you set the expectations and rules, and you guide her through this crazy journey of becoming a woman.
B) Do not let your daughter dress like a whore. There are several reasons for this - there are far too many men out there who have a thing for little girls. Don't make your daughter a walking target. If you let your daughter dress like this at a very young age, before she has developed a true sense of herself, then her sense of herself, her value, will be her body. She will believe that to dress sexy and get attention is how she is to proceed in the world. Women can be sexy and beautiful, but being smart is also a good thing! Yes, your daughter can dress pretty, and wear all those cute things you are too old or too fat to fit into...but seriously, when you dress her in high heels, low ride pants, and crop tops you look like a Madam with her girls. Seriously.
C) Girl time out with your daughter should be fun....clean innocent fun. Not a night out on the town pretending she is over 21 and is your best friend...if you have problems following this read A and B again. And again. And Again. Until you get the point that YOU are your daughters single most important influence. How she turns out as a woman is based mainly on you. The kinds of relationships she has is based mainly on her watching you and YOUR relationships.
Lets be the kinds of mothers that value being a woman. Lets be fun, healthy, smart, and pretty. Let's show our daughters what a strong, fun loving woman really looks like.....lets not train her to be 'that girl' that the entire football team knows about!
Hugs to you all....
Jaye
So what do I object to? I object to these women turning their 13 year old daughters into their slutty best friends! These girls are dressed in sexy, revealing clothes. Low ride jeans with crop tops and high heels or teeny tiny bikinis. And these moms are taking them for 'girl time' to big hotels and going out on the town (dressed in these sexy outfits).
So to all my fellow mothers let me say some things to you.
A) Your daughter is NOT your best friend. She is your daughter. She HAS best friends, and so should you. If you don't you need to work on that. You are her MOTHER. Which means you set the expectations and rules, and you guide her through this crazy journey of becoming a woman.
B) Do not let your daughter dress like a whore. There are several reasons for this - there are far too many men out there who have a thing for little girls. Don't make your daughter a walking target. If you let your daughter dress like this at a very young age, before she has developed a true sense of herself, then her sense of herself, her value, will be her body. She will believe that to dress sexy and get attention is how she is to proceed in the world. Women can be sexy and beautiful, but being smart is also a good thing! Yes, your daughter can dress pretty, and wear all those cute things you are too old or too fat to fit into...but seriously, when you dress her in high heels, low ride pants, and crop tops you look like a Madam with her girls. Seriously.
C) Girl time out with your daughter should be fun....clean innocent fun. Not a night out on the town pretending she is over 21 and is your best friend...if you have problems following this read A and B again. And again. And Again. Until you get the point that YOU are your daughters single most important influence. How she turns out as a woman is based mainly on you. The kinds of relationships she has is based mainly on her watching you and YOUR relationships.
Lets be the kinds of mothers that value being a woman. Lets be fun, healthy, smart, and pretty. Let's show our daughters what a strong, fun loving woman really looks like.....lets not train her to be 'that girl' that the entire football team knows about!
Hugs to you all....
Jaye
Saturday, June 16, 2012
Ok, so it's been awhile!
Almost a year in fact! So much has happened in this past year! Mark is loving retirement and doing very well with his new job as an oceanographic electrician - and has had two promotions in 18 months and is jonesing for another one soon! He's been told it usually takes guys 9 years to get to the point he has gotten in just under 2! He is truly a wonderful worker!
Speaking of work, I have a job! I have taken my degree in Legal Sciences and am a paralegal for a busy family/criminal law firm. There are two of us and we are kept hopping. Love my job and LOVE the people I work for/with. We are treated like family. The hours are perfect for our family (10:30-4:30), with the office closed at noon on Fridays (still getting paid for the full day!). In the summer the other Paralegal and I take turns having every other Friday off. See? Perfect job!
Sam is well established on his own. He is a starving/working college student. He is looking forward to moving in to an apartment with his best buddy in October and getting out of the place he is in. It will just be a better fit for him. He is in college to become either an ESL teacher in Japan OR a high school level Japanese teacher. He has not decided which path to take yet but it will involve Japanese somehow.
Paige is in Junior high and loving it. She is still in a gifted program but at the Junior High level it is called the "Magnet Program". She will do this to the end of grade 8 and then will take AP classes throughout the rest of high school. She will start the Running Start program in grade 11, which will allow her to have almost all her credits for an AA by the time she graduates high school. She has her life mapped out, right down to the University she will attend. I know that the best laid plans and all, but for now it is fun to watch her map it out.
Ben is still in the Venture program in grade 5. He will do this till the end of grade 6 and then follow in Paiges footsteps. He recently did the state wide testing for reading and math and his results put him 8 grade levels above where he is at! His teacher said the only reason he didn't get further in the math test was he doesn't know trigonometry - that he did the algebra part after he figured out all the formula on his own! He sure did NOT get his math gene from me!
Shelby is 18 and has graduated high school. This means we are DONE with her insane mothers CRAP. No more child support. Mary has filed for college tuition, but the attorney I work for is also Marks attorney and he has said that he will fight this for us for FREE and that Mary really has no chance. Shelby hasn't spoken to Mark in over 4 years, which is sad for both Mark and Shelby. As my best friend said, if Mary had just accepted Mark (and eventually me when we were married) into Shelbys life, we could have made a great support team for Shelby. Unfortunately, Mary could not do this and has caused remarkable turmoil in Shelby's life. Mary is now on husband number 4 (Mark was number one) so we shall see how much more damage she does to Shelby.
All in all, life is good. Busy and hectic. Relationships take work, and ours is not any different. After 14 years we are still together and are successfully navigating all the changes that have occurred (from full time sea duty to retirement is NOT an easy change!).....
Hugs to you all...
Jaye
Speaking of work, I have a job! I have taken my degree in Legal Sciences and am a paralegal for a busy family/criminal law firm. There are two of us and we are kept hopping. Love my job and LOVE the people I work for/with. We are treated like family. The hours are perfect for our family (10:30-4:30), with the office closed at noon on Fridays (still getting paid for the full day!). In the summer the other Paralegal and I take turns having every other Friday off. See? Perfect job!
Sam is well established on his own. He is a starving/working college student. He is looking forward to moving in to an apartment with his best buddy in October and getting out of the place he is in. It will just be a better fit for him. He is in college to become either an ESL teacher in Japan OR a high school level Japanese teacher. He has not decided which path to take yet but it will involve Japanese somehow.
Paige is in Junior high and loving it. She is still in a gifted program but at the Junior High level it is called the "Magnet Program". She will do this to the end of grade 8 and then will take AP classes throughout the rest of high school. She will start the Running Start program in grade 11, which will allow her to have almost all her credits for an AA by the time she graduates high school. She has her life mapped out, right down to the University she will attend. I know that the best laid plans and all, but for now it is fun to watch her map it out.
Ben is still in the Venture program in grade 5. He will do this till the end of grade 6 and then follow in Paiges footsteps. He recently did the state wide testing for reading and math and his results put him 8 grade levels above where he is at! His teacher said the only reason he didn't get further in the math test was he doesn't know trigonometry - that he did the algebra part after he figured out all the formula on his own! He sure did NOT get his math gene from me!
Shelby is 18 and has graduated high school. This means we are DONE with her insane mothers CRAP. No more child support. Mary has filed for college tuition, but the attorney I work for is also Marks attorney and he has said that he will fight this for us for FREE and that Mary really has no chance. Shelby hasn't spoken to Mark in over 4 years, which is sad for both Mark and Shelby. As my best friend said, if Mary had just accepted Mark (and eventually me when we were married) into Shelbys life, we could have made a great support team for Shelby. Unfortunately, Mary could not do this and has caused remarkable turmoil in Shelby's life. Mary is now on husband number 4 (Mark was number one) so we shall see how much more damage she does to Shelby.
All in all, life is good. Busy and hectic. Relationships take work, and ours is not any different. After 14 years we are still together and are successfully navigating all the changes that have occurred (from full time sea duty to retirement is NOT an easy change!).....
Hugs to you all...
Jaye
Friday, July 01, 2011
364 days...that's less than a year!
Yup. 364 days. Less than a year. The insanity that is Marks ex wife will be done in less than a year. I am glad I didn't know back then what I was getting into, because honestly, I am not sure I would have if I had known what it was going to be like. Don't get me wrong. Mark is my world. We have an amazing life. Wonderful kids. I wouldn't change it. But hindsight truly is 20/20. It has taken a lot on my part to put up with his ex wife and all her insanity. Truly a lot. I have had to pay out thousands of dollars to attorneys fees and unnecessary medical bills while we have sacrificed and done without at times. And to be perfectly honest, I have resented it many times. There has been no reason for all of this insanity. Other than Mary cannot function at a normal level. But there is no fixing her, I have realized that over the years. I cannot control it or fix it. So I carry on living my wonderfully happy life. Knowing that I am truly at peace most days, and on the days that I have had enough, I just breathe in deeply and say 'only 364 more days'! :)
In other more important news, I have a job! A real, out in the adult world, using my degree JOB! WoOhOo! I will be working for Marks attorney (so having to deal with Mary HAS had some perks! lol) and as I know everyone in the office, I know it will be a great place to work. I am excited. And nervous. And EXCITED! and I need new clothes! And EXCITED! I wasn't actually looking for a job but this one really just fell in my lap. And everything has fallen into place. The hours are perfect for our family, 10:30 to 4:30 every day, with weekends off! It will allow me to keep our morning routine the same and get me home at a decent hour every evening. A good friend has been recruited (with a cash bribe!) to drive Ben from the bus stop to our house every day. He is old enough now to be on his own for an hour. Paige is thrilled to be allowed to walk from her Junior High....stop. Read that again. Yes, JUNIOR HIGH! GAH! How did that happen?? Anyways, she will walk from the Junior high down the hill to the new YMCA that was built this spring. Most of her friends go there after school, so she is thrilled! She can go for a swim, or do her homework, or take a class...and will be there for less than two hours before I (or Mark) picks her up. It all just works out so very very well!
Sometimes, when you just wait for it, the Plan falls into place....
Hugs to all,
Jaye
Ps. Happy Canada Day!
In other more important news, I have a job! A real, out in the adult world, using my degree JOB! WoOhOo! I will be working for Marks attorney (so having to deal with Mary HAS had some perks! lol) and as I know everyone in the office, I know it will be a great place to work. I am excited. And nervous. And EXCITED! and I need new clothes! And EXCITED! I wasn't actually looking for a job but this one really just fell in my lap. And everything has fallen into place. The hours are perfect for our family, 10:30 to 4:30 every day, with weekends off! It will allow me to keep our morning routine the same and get me home at a decent hour every evening. A good friend has been recruited (with a cash bribe!) to drive Ben from the bus stop to our house every day. He is old enough now to be on his own for an hour. Paige is thrilled to be allowed to walk from her Junior High....stop. Read that again. Yes, JUNIOR HIGH! GAH! How did that happen?? Anyways, she will walk from the Junior high down the hill to the new YMCA that was built this spring. Most of her friends go there after school, so she is thrilled! She can go for a swim, or do her homework, or take a class...and will be there for less than two hours before I (or Mark) picks her up. It all just works out so very very well!
Sometimes, when you just wait for it, the Plan falls into place....
Hugs to all,
Jaye
Ps. Happy Canada Day!
Thursday, May 26, 2011
Life.....
Life has become so insanely busy. I always have good intentions about blogging. And then life intrudes! Paige and Ben are busy with baseball season. Two practices and a game or two a week. Mark and I just finished teaching our spring session of Divorce Recovery (13 weeks, twice a year!). I am still insanely busy with school, and Mark is busy being a superstar at work, and getting lots of overtime.
The MOST exciting thing has been that my brother got married last week! He is in his mid 30's and has taken his time to find the right gal. And oh, she is the one. She is pretty, and funny, and smart, and oh so perfect. We heart her. And he hearts her. and that is all that matters!
Some things don't change. Mary is still being ...........Mary. She has taken Shelby to EIGHTEEN doctors visits in the past four months. You read that right. That means 18 bills. All for nothing. Turns out Shelby is perfectly healthy. Mark emailed Mary and told her that after living with her mom for 17 years, maybe what Shelby needs is a therapist (sometimes he can be so precise!). But you know what? I wouldn't trade any of it for the world. I am in a good place, and all of this is really showing Shelby what life is really all about. Mark will always be able to say he did his most, his best, his fullest for her. And in 12 months our obligations are over. At that point, it is up to Shelby to seek Mark out, and perhaps then, the two of them can do their thing, without Mary and her insanity in the mix.
Spring is 'supposed' to be here, but we have had only 29 days without rain so far this year. It will be interesting to see what this winter will be like. We have projects in the planning stages, with the entire renovation of our home as the top one!
We are trying to go home for Thanksgiving, but with gas prices what they are, we can't see spending over 2000 dollars for six days. Hopefully things will change......
In the meantime, life goes on full speed ahead. And I love it.
Hugs to all,
Jayae
The MOST exciting thing has been that my brother got married last week! He is in his mid 30's and has taken his time to find the right gal. And oh, she is the one. She is pretty, and funny, and smart, and oh so perfect. We heart her. And he hearts her. and that is all that matters!
Some things don't change. Mary is still being ...........Mary. She has taken Shelby to EIGHTEEN doctors visits in the past four months. You read that right. That means 18 bills. All for nothing. Turns out Shelby is perfectly healthy. Mark emailed Mary and told her that after living with her mom for 17 years, maybe what Shelby needs is a therapist (sometimes he can be so precise!). But you know what? I wouldn't trade any of it for the world. I am in a good place, and all of this is really showing Shelby what life is really all about. Mark will always be able to say he did his most, his best, his fullest for her. And in 12 months our obligations are over. At that point, it is up to Shelby to seek Mark out, and perhaps then, the two of them can do their thing, without Mary and her insanity in the mix.
Spring is 'supposed' to be here, but we have had only 29 days without rain so far this year. It will be interesting to see what this winter will be like. We have projects in the planning stages, with the entire renovation of our home as the top one!
We are trying to go home for Thanksgiving, but with gas prices what they are, we can't see spending over 2000 dollars for six days. Hopefully things will change......
In the meantime, life goes on full speed ahead. And I love it.
Hugs to all,
Jayae
Monday, April 25, 2011
13 Months and counting....
On May first, Mark will make another child support payment, just as he does every month. Then we are down to just 13 more! He has not heard from nor seen Shelby in almost three years. This of course is because of Mary and her influence and insanity, which never seems to get any better. I have said in the past that she is insane, and I stick by that comment.
Her latest thing is trotting Shelby out to every Doctor and Specialist known to man. I have always thought that Mary suffers from "Munchausen by Proxy" and in fact, she fits the profile perfectly. Shelby has had over 15 doctors appointments in the past three months alone! Anyways, her latest one was today, an 'echocardiogram' for her heart. Mary said that she had mentioned to the Doctor that Shelby had a hole in her heart when she was born. The doctor asked her more about it and Mary admitted that it had closed up and Shelby was fine, but wanted it checked. When she emailed Mark about it, he said that the test was not necessary and that Mary should cancel the appointment. Mary emailed back saying that she could not do so as Mark emailed her too late for her to cancel and that there would have been a charge for her to cancel within the 24 hour window. Mark called the clinic and there is NO cancellation charge, people can cancel ANY time, AND the office is open 24/7 so Mary could have called at any point in time. Another example of how she just does whatever she wants with Shelby and blatantly disregards the parenting plan that says that she must include Mark. She just makes a show of it....
Anyways, the whole point of this is that in 13 months, months that are going to fly by, we shall be done with the constant silliness that comes with dealing with Mary and her delusional world.
The person I really feel badly for is Shelby. After all, in 13 months WE will no longer have to deal with Mary. Shelby will always have to live with her mothers insanity. God Help Her.....
Jaye
Her latest thing is trotting Shelby out to every Doctor and Specialist known to man. I have always thought that Mary suffers from "Munchausen by Proxy" and in fact, she fits the profile perfectly. Shelby has had over 15 doctors appointments in the past three months alone! Anyways, her latest one was today, an 'echocardiogram' for her heart. Mary said that she had mentioned to the Doctor that Shelby had a hole in her heart when she was born. The doctor asked her more about it and Mary admitted that it had closed up and Shelby was fine, but wanted it checked. When she emailed Mark about it, he said that the test was not necessary and that Mary should cancel the appointment. Mary emailed back saying that she could not do so as Mark emailed her too late for her to cancel and that there would have been a charge for her to cancel within the 24 hour window. Mark called the clinic and there is NO cancellation charge, people can cancel ANY time, AND the office is open 24/7 so Mary could have called at any point in time. Another example of how she just does whatever she wants with Shelby and blatantly disregards the parenting plan that says that she must include Mark. She just makes a show of it....
Anyways, the whole point of this is that in 13 months, months that are going to fly by, we shall be done with the constant silliness that comes with dealing with Mary and her delusional world.
The person I really feel badly for is Shelby. After all, in 13 months WE will no longer have to deal with Mary. Shelby will always have to live with her mothers insanity. God Help Her.....
Jaye
Wednesday, April 06, 2011
Is it Spring Yet?
The calendar says it is. My flip flops say it is. But one look out the window and you know it is NOT spring around here. A whopping 35 degrees today and it is April 6th! Actually hailed so much today that it looks like snow, What The Junk?? Bring on the sunshine already, six months of rain is MORE than enough!
I am a big fan of four seasons and the past few years it seems that WA state has only two: rainy season and two weeks of summer. I really don't mind the rain, it is the gray that accompanies it and I am done. I want sunshine and to wear flip flops and capris and I want to be able to know that if Mark calls from work and says 'lets grill out tonight' that by the time he gets home it will STILL be nice enough outside to grill out! Normally I wouldn't whine so much about the weather but I am really wanting to start running again and every time I set out to run it is raining. UGH.
So here is to hoping for Sunshine and lollipops and bunnies and flowers and all things spring like!
Have a good NON rainy day my friends!
Jaye
I am a big fan of four seasons and the past few years it seems that WA state has only two: rainy season and two weeks of summer. I really don't mind the rain, it is the gray that accompanies it and I am done. I want sunshine and to wear flip flops and capris and I want to be able to know that if Mark calls from work and says 'lets grill out tonight' that by the time he gets home it will STILL be nice enough outside to grill out! Normally I wouldn't whine so much about the weather but I am really wanting to start running again and every time I set out to run it is raining. UGH.
So here is to hoping for Sunshine and lollipops and bunnies and flowers and all things spring like!
Have a good NON rainy day my friends!
Jaye
Wednesday, March 02, 2011
Happy 17th Birthday Shelby.....
It is Shelbys birthday today. She is 17. I met Mark when she was two and married him when she was four. I have known her for 15 years. She has grown in my heart for 15 years. Because Mary is so bitter, and angry, and hostile, we have no contact with Shelby and haven't for 2 years. If we did, this is what I would like to say to her on her birthday:
Dear sweet Shelby...I have known you since you were a toddler. When I met you, Sam was 5 and Katie was 8...I was long past the 'baby' stage, and I remember the joy I had when I went shopping with your daddy for things to put inside a box for you for Easter. Colouring books and crayons, and special little things. I hope you had as much fun with those things as we did shopping for them!
I remember you coming out to Washington when you were 8, and I was very pregnant with Ben. You loved to pat my tummy, and were so excited to be having a baby brother to go with your sister!
And now here we are, with you turning 17! Proms and graduation, boyfriends and driving.....so many new things you are experiencing. I wish we could share it all with you. I am sorry that you cannot have your mom and dad in your life. I am sorry there has been so much pain caused by your parents divorce.
I wish I could change it, but I can't. What I can do is to let you know that we will always love you and you always have a place in our home and in our hearts.
Happy Birthday Sweet Girl!
Hugs to you!
Jaye
Dear sweet Shelby...I have known you since you were a toddler. When I met you, Sam was 5 and Katie was 8...I was long past the 'baby' stage, and I remember the joy I had when I went shopping with your daddy for things to put inside a box for you for Easter. Colouring books and crayons, and special little things. I hope you had as much fun with those things as we did shopping for them!
I remember you coming out to Washington when you were 8, and I was very pregnant with Ben. You loved to pat my tummy, and were so excited to be having a baby brother to go with your sister!
And now here we are, with you turning 17! Proms and graduation, boyfriends and driving.....so many new things you are experiencing. I wish we could share it all with you. I am sorry that you cannot have your mom and dad in your life. I am sorry there has been so much pain caused by your parents divorce.
I wish I could change it, but I can't. What I can do is to let you know that we will always love you and you always have a place in our home and in our hearts.
Happy Birthday Sweet Girl!
Hugs to you!
Jaye
Thursday, February 17, 2011
Promotions and snow and four day weekends....
After only six months on the job, Mark received his first promotion yesterday! This means moving up a step on the job ladder AND a nice pay raise! :) It is so nice to see this wonderful man finally get recognized for his work ethic and values. In the Navy, promotions are based on test results and 'points' accumulated due to medals earned etc. While Mark made rank as fast as was possible, you really can only get 'promoted' once every four or five years due to politics etc. SO. It is just nice that he can get promotions based on what he does and how he does it, and not on some political formula! So, Congrats to my sweet man on his promotion and YAY for me to have more money to spend! :)
Snow.....we have been told we will get snow this weekend. While the rest of the country is sick to death of snow after being buried in it for months, we are still waiting for a big snow event here. We have had two small snowfalls, neither one lasting longer than a day. It would snow at night, then be gone by the next afternoon. I am trying to tell God that this would be a GREAT weekend for it too, after all, we DO have a four day weekend!
Speaking of the four day weekend, it is going to be such a nice break! This is my second to last week of this current term at school, which means I have not only had the regular load of homework, but have been writing papers for the final week. All my big projects are done, and by the end of tomorrow, I'll have all my weekly homework done, so this four day weekend will be SUCH a nice break! My academic supervisor screwed up my schedule, so I have three back to back terms to do. That means 24 weeks with maybe a day or three in between each one. This is the first of the three terms...I start three days after this term ends on the second of the three back to back terms and so I will be busy, busy, busy until Easter. I plan on having a pajama weekend! :)
So whatever this weekend is going to bring you, enjoy it! I know I am going to!
Hugs to all,
Jaye
Snow.....we have been told we will get snow this weekend. While the rest of the country is sick to death of snow after being buried in it for months, we are still waiting for a big snow event here. We have had two small snowfalls, neither one lasting longer than a day. It would snow at night, then be gone by the next afternoon. I am trying to tell God that this would be a GREAT weekend for it too, after all, we DO have a four day weekend!
Speaking of the four day weekend, it is going to be such a nice break! This is my second to last week of this current term at school, which means I have not only had the regular load of homework, but have been writing papers for the final week. All my big projects are done, and by the end of tomorrow, I'll have all my weekly homework done, so this four day weekend will be SUCH a nice break! My academic supervisor screwed up my schedule, so I have three back to back terms to do. That means 24 weeks with maybe a day or three in between each one. This is the first of the three terms...I start three days after this term ends on the second of the three back to back terms and so I will be busy, busy, busy until Easter. I plan on having a pajama weekend! :)
So whatever this weekend is going to bring you, enjoy it! I know I am going to!
Hugs to all,
Jaye
Wednesday, February 09, 2011
National Lox and Bagels day...
Along with my regular facebook page, I also have a 'food' facebook page simply because I had so many people wanting recipes of things I had talked about making on my facebook page and I wanted THEIR recipes, so it just seemed more efficient to create a page dedicated to my foodie friends and I. I have to admit that I am bad about keeping up with it. Life gets in my way..but I'd love to really post once a day on there and maintain it...perhaps one day when the craziness of homework and psych papers being due subsides I will actually be able to do a daily post. In the meantime, it is very hit and miss. I DO try to at least post the 'National Day of______' whatever it happens to be that day. Today is National Lox and Bagels day. This got me reminiscing about a little deli that used to be in my hometown. It was actually a fish shop- but it was run by a Jewish man so I guess that is why you could also by the worlds best bagels at this fish shop. There was nothing better than getting to the shop in time for the bagels to still be warm from the oven. The owner would slather them with cream cheese...not just your run of the mill 'kraft philly' cream cheese either...but thick cream cheese that came in these lovely big tubs...then he would stack thinly sliced, MADE IN HIS SHOP lox over the top...oh Heavenly goodness...it was lovely. The shop is no longer there...well, the building is, but there is a new business in it and life goes on.
This memory got me to thinking about my hometown, and all its little shops and cute little quirks. Art is a big deal in this town. Lots of artists live 'in the creek'. If you are from there you'll know that this doesn't mean they literally live IN a creek, but they live in a town called Roberts Creek..affectionately known as 'The Creek'. The town boasts lots of little independent shops...book shops...art shops....pottery shops...and I use the word 'shop' intentionally. These are not 'stores' where you are in and out...but they are 'shops' in that even if you don't buy anything, you want to spend time really soaking everything in....
These memories all get me to realizing how homesick I am at times. I love my life. I love my family. I love the States. But I am a Canadian and always will be. Canada is my home. And I miss her. Once we get our passports we will be making a trip 'home'. I need to drive in kilometers. I need to put liters of gas in my car. I need to listen to people talk who lilt their sentences at the end. And I need dill pickle chips.
Oh Canada....how I miss you.
Hugs to all,
Jaye
This memory got me to thinking about my hometown, and all its little shops and cute little quirks. Art is a big deal in this town. Lots of artists live 'in the creek'. If you are from there you'll know that this doesn't mean they literally live IN a creek, but they live in a town called Roberts Creek..affectionately known as 'The Creek'. The town boasts lots of little independent shops...book shops...art shops....pottery shops...and I use the word 'shop' intentionally. These are not 'stores' where you are in and out...but they are 'shops' in that even if you don't buy anything, you want to spend time really soaking everything in....
These memories all get me to realizing how homesick I am at times. I love my life. I love my family. I love the States. But I am a Canadian and always will be. Canada is my home. And I miss her. Once we get our passports we will be making a trip 'home'. I need to drive in kilometers. I need to put liters of gas in my car. I need to listen to people talk who lilt their sentences at the end. And I need dill pickle chips.
Oh Canada....how I miss you.
Hugs to all,
Jaye
Saturday, January 15, 2011
Long Weekend.....
I love the long weekends...mostly! Here I sit at almost 3pm on a Saturday and I know I still have two more days to go! Mark had to work today (BOO YAH OVERTIME) but will end up still getting a two day weekend because of the long weekend, AND get paid for one of his 'weekend' days! Sweet!
We are having company for dinner tonight and so I have been prepping the food. I am making a South African dish that I learned from my late mother in law (late because I divorced her son, and late because sadly, she died a few weeks ago) called Peri Peri Chicken..I'll bake it in the oven along with a mix of potatoes and onions (and garlic!), and do some sort of veggie. Our friends are bringing over some 'cow' they said (yes, they said COW! lol)...and she is making something decadent that involves caramel. If it isn't TOO rainy (doubtful, THANKS WA STATE!!) we'll have a bonfire, otherwise, we'll find something to occupy us! Mark and I have always been big on entertaining...we love being around people, we love opening up our home (which is soon to be renovated!!!), and we love cooking (ok, mostly I like EATING!)...
Tomorrow we'll head off to church in the morning and then the rest of the day is open for plans, whatever they may be. Same with Monday, minus the Church part....and here is what I don't like about long weekends, for the rest of the week, I am going to be a day behind! When one is going to college and has a schedule of classes and homework, being a day behind doesn't always work out well, which is why I am going to try (note, I said TRY) to get a bit ahead this weekend. We'll see.
In the meantime, I need to get back to cooking. Have a great weekend all, I know that we sure will! :)
Hugs to all,
Jaye
We are having company for dinner tonight and so I have been prepping the food. I am making a South African dish that I learned from my late mother in law (late because I divorced her son, and late because sadly, she died a few weeks ago) called Peri Peri Chicken..I'll bake it in the oven along with a mix of potatoes and onions (and garlic!), and do some sort of veggie. Our friends are bringing over some 'cow' they said (yes, they said COW! lol)...and she is making something decadent that involves caramel. If it isn't TOO rainy (doubtful, THANKS WA STATE!!) we'll have a bonfire, otherwise, we'll find something to occupy us! Mark and I have always been big on entertaining...we love being around people, we love opening up our home (which is soon to be renovated!!!), and we love cooking (ok, mostly I like EATING!)...
Tomorrow we'll head off to church in the morning and then the rest of the day is open for plans, whatever they may be. Same with Monday, minus the Church part....and here is what I don't like about long weekends, for the rest of the week, I am going to be a day behind! When one is going to college and has a schedule of classes and homework, being a day behind doesn't always work out well, which is why I am going to try (note, I said TRY) to get a bit ahead this weekend. We'll see.
In the meantime, I need to get back to cooking. Have a great weekend all, I know that we sure will! :)
Hugs to all,
Jaye
Thursday, January 06, 2011
Eating...
So we are a week into the New Year. You can tell by looking at your calendar. OR, you can tell by the number of people working up a sweat as they jog on the side of the road. In a month, that number will be slashed in half...by April, they will be too busy diving into their Easter baskets to care about running! :)
I will be 45 this year......thereby taking me out of the spring chicken category, as well as the tight ass, perky boob category. However, that doesn't mean that I can't be fit and healthy! So ask me if I am taking up jogging? Or dieting? Nope to both! I want to ease my way back into running, as I SO enjoyed it when I did it, but it is not a consuming goal for me. And diets DO. NOT. WORK. They just don't. What I have found is this, I am not meant to be a size 2. Or a 4. Right now I am comfortable in a six or eight, and that works for me. I could use some toning, and that will happen. Or it might not. I really don't care. What I DO care about is being able to play with my kids, to have a great sex life with my honey, and to just feel good overall. So I make better choices with my food. I don't starve myself, but I do try not to 'gorge'. Instead of regular potato chips, I'll opt for baked ones, or pretzels..or fat free microwave popcorn (DO NOT TELL ME HOW BAD IT IS FOR ME...I KNOW. BUT IT IS BETTER THAN CHIPS!). Instead of vegetable oil in my baking, I replace it with unsweetened apple sauce...I use fat free dairy products (did you know they actually have MORE calcium than full fat?)...I eat apples and carrots...and I TRY to do some 'active' thing each day. Notice I said TRY. I don't obsess. If I do, it only makes me feel badly about myself, and quite frankly, I am quite amazing! :) I am smart (straight A's so far in college!), I am a great mom...a wonderful wife (right Mark?), I can cook (man can I cook!), I am loyal to my friends, and I have managed to keep up with the laundry (that right there is Oscar material!!).
So what if the scale doesn't show me the same number it did when I was 18? I have traded that number for life experience. For laughter, and love, and loss, and true friendships....I have traded up...and I am not looking back!
I am off to make a cup of tea.....and have a snack...maybe some low fat cheese....or maybe a slice of that double chocolate cake we had for Paiges birthday last night...who knows. What I DO know is that either one will not make me happy or sad...it is just food...it is my LIFE that makes me happy! :)
Hugs to all,
Jaye
I will be 45 this year......thereby taking me out of the spring chicken category, as well as the tight ass, perky boob category. However, that doesn't mean that I can't be fit and healthy! So ask me if I am taking up jogging? Or dieting? Nope to both! I want to ease my way back into running, as I SO enjoyed it when I did it, but it is not a consuming goal for me. And diets DO. NOT. WORK. They just don't. What I have found is this, I am not meant to be a size 2. Or a 4. Right now I am comfortable in a six or eight, and that works for me. I could use some toning, and that will happen. Or it might not. I really don't care. What I DO care about is being able to play with my kids, to have a great sex life with my honey, and to just feel good overall. So I make better choices with my food. I don't starve myself, but I do try not to 'gorge'. Instead of regular potato chips, I'll opt for baked ones, or pretzels..or fat free microwave popcorn (DO NOT TELL ME HOW BAD IT IS FOR ME...I KNOW. BUT IT IS BETTER THAN CHIPS!). Instead of vegetable oil in my baking, I replace it with unsweetened apple sauce...I use fat free dairy products (did you know they actually have MORE calcium than full fat?)...I eat apples and carrots...and I TRY to do some 'active' thing each day. Notice I said TRY. I don't obsess. If I do, it only makes me feel badly about myself, and quite frankly, I am quite amazing! :) I am smart (straight A's so far in college!), I am a great mom...a wonderful wife (right Mark?), I can cook (man can I cook!), I am loyal to my friends, and I have managed to keep up with the laundry (that right there is Oscar material!!).
So what if the scale doesn't show me the same number it did when I was 18? I have traded that number for life experience. For laughter, and love, and loss, and true friendships....I have traded up...and I am not looking back!
I am off to make a cup of tea.....and have a snack...maybe some low fat cheese....or maybe a slice of that double chocolate cake we had for Paiges birthday last night...who knows. What I DO know is that either one will not make me happy or sad...it is just food...it is my LIFE that makes me happy! :)
Hugs to all,
Jaye
Friday, December 31, 2010
2010
What an amazing year it has been......as I look back, I am excited for what lies ahead of us as a family!
Paige turned 11 in January....which means that as I write this, she is a week away from being 12! She is changing on all fronts...her body...her attitude....everything. She is a wonderful girl..and I feel blessed to be her mother. I can't wait to see what this year unfolds like for her and us. I know that as she enters her teen years we will have our ups and downs, but I know that I will NOT repeat my own teen years, and so that is the first indication that this shall go well! :)
June saw me start my bachelors degree in Psychology. I changed from Law as I felt that I did not want to spend any part of my life watching and helping marriages dissolve. Coupled with my legal sciences degree, I hope to work in the court system as an advocate for the under 18 set. They need a voice and the legal system and kids are my passion.
July saw Mark do his last day in the Navy. After 20 glorious years of fighting for our freedoms, standing up for what he believes in, he turned the watch over to a new generation. He did an awesome job and I will always be proud of his service. He technically had two weeks without a job, and is now doing the same thing he did in the Navy, but as a civilian, and earning a lot more money and finally getting the recognition and respect that he deserves....again, I am always proud of what he does!
September saw Ben turn 9. I do not know where the time goes. He was just born a few days ago! :)
Both kids are doing so well in school. Smart as anything and always so kind and good...
Sam has had a good year working and is making plans for his future. He is looking at what he wants to do for college, and is looking at moving out in January into his own place with some friends. While I am sad to see him go, I am also excited for him. It is a new adventure. He has grown into the most AMAZING young man. I am proud to be his mother!
This year saw some sad things as well....Marks Grandma Ruth died just before Christmas...she was 98 and lived a good, long life but it is always heart breaking to lose someone you love. This year also saw Marks brother in law Bill get very ill...as I type this he is counting down his days. Hospice and all in the medical community are not sure how he is still alive. He is dying and there is nothing we can do...we laugh with him..we cry with him...we love him dearly. He is keeping a sense of humour, but I cannot imagine knowing that I was dying....how hard that must be. This year also saw the final end to Mark and Shelbys relationship for now. Mary refused to put Shelby on the plane for Christmas 2009, and that was the last time (and first!) Mark heard from Shelby that year. She emailed him and said that she did not want a relationship with him right now but wanted one when she was an adult. Coming from an then 15 year old, that speaks volumes to us. Mary is a freaking insane nutjob who is doing a great job of destroying Shelby. Mary was divorced for the third time in January and moved a new man into their home in March or April...they are now engaged (God help him)....I have tried to be kind about Mary and our years of her crap, but really...after all these years, I can only say that she is the most mentally unbalanced person I have ever come to know. I pray for Shelby every day...she is going to need our prayers and good vibes in order to turn out to be a normal adult.
Sam turned 20 a few weeks ago....amazing how this four pound, eight week premature baby turned into such a lovely young man. I love him...so much.
My brother asked a wonderful girl to marry him this year, and they will be married in the spring. They will be living in Switzerland (her homeland), and so this means that this year will see us saving our pennies for a trip to Europe in 2012. :) I cannot wait!
And now we are at New Years Eve....and I know that this coming year will be full of adventures and new things. I will get the major part of my degree done this year, the kids will turn 21, 12, and 10 respectively....(you don't need to know how old I will be this year!), Mark will get settled into the new job and become an 'old pro' at what he does...
I wish nothing but success...joy...love...and good things for you all...know that we think of you all often and miss you and love you all so very much....
Hugs to all,
Jaye
Paige turned 11 in January....which means that as I write this, she is a week away from being 12! She is changing on all fronts...her body...her attitude....everything. She is a wonderful girl..and I feel blessed to be her mother. I can't wait to see what this year unfolds like for her and us. I know that as she enters her teen years we will have our ups and downs, but I know that I will NOT repeat my own teen years, and so that is the first indication that this shall go well! :)
June saw me start my bachelors degree in Psychology. I changed from Law as I felt that I did not want to spend any part of my life watching and helping marriages dissolve. Coupled with my legal sciences degree, I hope to work in the court system as an advocate for the under 18 set. They need a voice and the legal system and kids are my passion.
July saw Mark do his last day in the Navy. After 20 glorious years of fighting for our freedoms, standing up for what he believes in, he turned the watch over to a new generation. He did an awesome job and I will always be proud of his service. He technically had two weeks without a job, and is now doing the same thing he did in the Navy, but as a civilian, and earning a lot more money and finally getting the recognition and respect that he deserves....again, I am always proud of what he does!
September saw Ben turn 9. I do not know where the time goes. He was just born a few days ago! :)
Both kids are doing so well in school. Smart as anything and always so kind and good...
Sam has had a good year working and is making plans for his future. He is looking at what he wants to do for college, and is looking at moving out in January into his own place with some friends. While I am sad to see him go, I am also excited for him. It is a new adventure. He has grown into the most AMAZING young man. I am proud to be his mother!
This year saw some sad things as well....Marks Grandma Ruth died just before Christmas...she was 98 and lived a good, long life but it is always heart breaking to lose someone you love. This year also saw Marks brother in law Bill get very ill...as I type this he is counting down his days. Hospice and all in the medical community are not sure how he is still alive. He is dying and there is nothing we can do...we laugh with him..we cry with him...we love him dearly. He is keeping a sense of humour, but I cannot imagine knowing that I was dying....how hard that must be. This year also saw the final end to Mark and Shelbys relationship for now. Mary refused to put Shelby on the plane for Christmas 2009, and that was the last time (and first!) Mark heard from Shelby that year. She emailed him and said that she did not want a relationship with him right now but wanted one when she was an adult. Coming from an then 15 year old, that speaks volumes to us. Mary is a freaking insane nutjob who is doing a great job of destroying Shelby. Mary was divorced for the third time in January and moved a new man into their home in March or April...they are now engaged (God help him)....I have tried to be kind about Mary and our years of her crap, but really...after all these years, I can only say that she is the most mentally unbalanced person I have ever come to know. I pray for Shelby every day...she is going to need our prayers and good vibes in order to turn out to be a normal adult.
Sam turned 20 a few weeks ago....amazing how this four pound, eight week premature baby turned into such a lovely young man. I love him...so much.
My brother asked a wonderful girl to marry him this year, and they will be married in the spring. They will be living in Switzerland (her homeland), and so this means that this year will see us saving our pennies for a trip to Europe in 2012. :) I cannot wait!
And now we are at New Years Eve....and I know that this coming year will be full of adventures and new things. I will get the major part of my degree done this year, the kids will turn 21, 12, and 10 respectively....(you don't need to know how old I will be this year!), Mark will get settled into the new job and become an 'old pro' at what he does...
I wish nothing but success...joy...love...and good things for you all...know that we think of you all often and miss you and love you all so very much....
Hugs to all,
Jaye
Thursday, December 23, 2010
Kitchen day...
About five years ago (or maybe less) Mark had duty on Christmas Day. I did not want him to miss yet ANOTHER Christmas dinner/celebration so I decided we would have our big feast on Christmas Eve. It turns out that when you do that, Christmas Day is a breeze!! No rushing to open presents and clean up because you have to cook...it turns Christmas Day into a nice relaxing, enjoy your gifts, sit around and play with the family kind of day. So that became our new tradition, and we love it!
This year is our first 'retired' Christmas! This means there was no trying to figure out 'duty schedules' in advance to see if Mark would be home this year, no having to put in for leave, no duty days during the holidays. This year, Mark is not only HOME for Christmas (eve, day, AND boxing day!) but he is home for ELEVEN days and it only requires him to use FIVE of his banked holidays days! We so love civilian life! :)
So today after hitting the shower, I shall ensconce myself in the kitchen and start doing the things I can do today! I will be making a chocolate pie (Sam and Ben would lead a rebellion if I didn't serve this on Christmas Eve!), Cranberry sauce (Paige and I are purists and will only eat 'real' cranberry sauce!), a broccoli/cauliflower cheese bake (I am so sick of the 'traditional' veggies for the big feast!), and get my stuffing made in advance.
Tomorrow I will put a ham in the oven, Mark will put the turkey on the grill, and I will put the stuffing and the veggie bake in the oven, cook some corn and potatoes (gravy too of course!) and that will take care of that. It will make enough food for leftovers on Christmas day as well! I bought two lovely loaves of organic bread in anticipation of some lovely sammies on Christmas day, but if anyone wants a plate of food, they know where the microwave is! :)
For dinner tonight, I will be making latkes and bacon and sausages..I think I put on five pounds during the holidays, but it is so worth it! The kids love the food traditions as much as all the other things we do...I look forward to the day when they bring THEIR families home for my big dinners!
So off I go to shower and start cooking!
Hugs to all,
Jaye
This year is our first 'retired' Christmas! This means there was no trying to figure out 'duty schedules' in advance to see if Mark would be home this year, no having to put in for leave, no duty days during the holidays. This year, Mark is not only HOME for Christmas (eve, day, AND boxing day!) but he is home for ELEVEN days and it only requires him to use FIVE of his banked holidays days! We so love civilian life! :)
So today after hitting the shower, I shall ensconce myself in the kitchen and start doing the things I can do today! I will be making a chocolate pie (Sam and Ben would lead a rebellion if I didn't serve this on Christmas Eve!), Cranberry sauce (Paige and I are purists and will only eat 'real' cranberry sauce!), a broccoli/cauliflower cheese bake (I am so sick of the 'traditional' veggies for the big feast!), and get my stuffing made in advance.
Tomorrow I will put a ham in the oven, Mark will put the turkey on the grill, and I will put the stuffing and the veggie bake in the oven, cook some corn and potatoes (gravy too of course!) and that will take care of that. It will make enough food for leftovers on Christmas day as well! I bought two lovely loaves of organic bread in anticipation of some lovely sammies on Christmas day, but if anyone wants a plate of food, they know where the microwave is! :)
For dinner tonight, I will be making latkes and bacon and sausages..I think I put on five pounds during the holidays, but it is so worth it! The kids love the food traditions as much as all the other things we do...I look forward to the day when they bring THEIR families home for my big dinners!
So off I go to shower and start cooking!
Hugs to all,
Jaye
Saturday, December 18, 2010
Snow day....
Mark and I were woken up this morning at 7:30 am to a banging on our bedroom door and the excited voices of two children shouting "IT'S SNOWING". There are no two words in the world that can get Mark and I out of bed faster than that. We are like the kids when it snows! It still holds that magical bond with us that we had as kids. There is nothing like leaping out of bed and running to throw the blinds wide open and seeing a white world with huge white flakes tumbling down from the sky, racing each other to see who can hit the ground first!
As it was an hour and a half past my normal time to get up (I am up at 6 during the week!) Dexter REALLY had to go outside. I put a robe on over my pj's and donned my snow boots and out we went so he could do his business. I don't care who you are, or what is going on in your life, but there is nothing that compares to the absolute silence that envelopes you when you go out into the snow. There is not a bird to be heard, nor a creature to be seen. I imagine them all tucked up somewhere, looking at me through blurry, sleepy eyes, thinking "Is she NUTS? Doesn't she know it is COLD out here?". I wandered around the yard a bit while Dexter found the perfect spot to go (which usually takes him awhile!) and marveled at the silence and the whiteness..and the sheer magic that is snow!
Mark and Paige have headed out to hunt for a bit. Mark is convinced that the deer go crazy in the snow and that TODAY is the day he will bring back meat for our freezer. I am not holding my breath. I think 'hunting' is merely a justifiable way of getting out of the house and away from the chaos for hours at a time! lolol..I might have to start 'hunting' myself (and pack a good book in my backpack!). I have now showered and readied myself for the day of lazing around, and so I am off to play Wii with Ben. Thus begins our Christmas holidays....snow...family...fun. I can think of no better way to spend a day than this.
Hugs to you all,
Jaye
Friday, December 17, 2010
Christmas break starts right..........NOW!
Paige and Ben enjoyed their last day of school till the new year. They each had a class party (the cake above is what I made for Bens class party!), gifts were given to their teachers (cute tin buckets filled with homemade treats and a $5 Starbucks gift card!), gifts were exchanged with their friends, and report cards came home. Both are doing wonderfully in school and neither has homework over the holidays! YAY!
I too am on a three week break (have already enjoyed one week of it!). I go back to school on January 3rd, just like Paige and Ben! It is nice to be able to relax and not have to worry about any papers due during the holidays.
Mark works till Christmas Eve, working only a half day that day, and then he too is on a one week holiday! It will be nice to have a week off together as a family without any deadlines or schedules to follow.
We will enjoy our big feast on Christmas Eve....a tradition we started a few years ago when Mark had duty on Christmas day so we had our big meal on Christmas Eve. Turned out to be a wonderful choice, as Christmas day was no longer a scramble to open gifts, clean up, cook, and eat. We will go and enjoy Christmas Eve services at 9pm and come home and snuggle into bed and wait for Santa! Christmas day will see us lounging around enjoying our gifts and each other, and the company of good friends. We would like to head up to Mt. Rainier to go sledding during our time off, but we'll see if we actually get around to that! :)
It will be nice to have this time to relax and enjoy time off.
Even nicer is not having to figure out the 'Duty Schedule' a week in advance to know if Mark will be home for Christmas or not...one of the perks of retirement from the Navy!
Hugs to all,
Jaye
Sunday, December 12, 2010
Blame it on facebook...and school...and life....
It has come to my attention that there are those of you out there that do not 'do' facebook, and therefore have not been able to keep up with the exploits of the Greene family! I do offer my humble apologies and am actually quite surprised that my blog had faithful readers (after all you never commented, and you know who you are!)....I found that facebook allowed me to take ten minutes out of my day to post a few pictures, relay a few happenings and I could keep everyone up on all that was Greene (those who were interested anyways). So..blame my lack of blogging on facebook! :)
I actually prefer to blog, as writing is a love of mine that goes back to when I was a little girl. Words fascinate me. I love them. I love stringing them together like one would put a string of beads together. You can string words together that make a perfect picture, or you can string words together that really make no sense, so there is an art to words and all that is 'writing'. I cannot draw a stick man to save my life, but I can write up a storm!
Our life since the last post...which has been awhile! :) I think the BIGGEST happening has been that Mark is now a retired Sailor! He retired from the United States Navy, Submarine Fleet, after 20 years of service. He had a two week window that he did not have a job before he began his new adventure working for Puget Sound Naval Shipyard. Yes, he is doing the same thing that he spent the past 20 years doing, only as a civilian and for MUCH BETTER money! :)
Sam will be twenty in four days. I don't know how that happened. One minute I was dealing with the 8 week early birth of this four pound baby boy and the loss of his twin brother and then I blinked and he is 20! He is getting ready to move out of our house and into his own place with three other friends. This is such a bittersweet thing for me. I want him to live with us forever and I want him to GET OUT! :) I know how excited he is to move out. He found his wings awhile back and has been flexing them ever since, but now he is going to FLY...he may fly back to the nest a few times, but isn't that what life is about? You try your wings, you fly back to the nest to regroup and then you try again. Of course, he may NOT fly back to the nest, perhaps that is just wishful thinking on my part! ;)
Paige and Ben are both in the gifted program and attend a school for gifted kids. Paige is in the sixth grade doing high school math...and recently tested AHL (above High school Level) in reading. She is doing wonderfully academically. She is also a normal 'almost' 12 year old. Her body is changing, her attitude is reflecting these changes, and we are adjusting to this new stage in her life.
Ben is in fourth grade, doing sixth grade math and also doing well academically. He is obsessed with building paper airplanes right now, at least until something else grabs his interest and pulls him into its clutches for a length of time. That is how Ben is. He finds something he likes and his life becomes all about that until something else grabs his fancy. Part of what makes him...well..Ben!
I am also in school! I have finished two quarters now and am on a three week break. So far I have all A's but I cannot brag too much as I know that as soon as I get a big head about it, I'll get a b...or worse! I am getting my bachelors degree in Psychology and then my Masters in Marriage and Family counseling. I have an associates degree in Legal Sciences, which allows me to be a paralegal if I want, and I had planned on becoming a Family Law Attorney, but have decided that I'd rather be an ADVOCATE for families than someone who helps tear them apart. We have enough broken families in the world today.....
Marks ex wife is on husband number four...well, they aren't yet married, they are engaged. Her third divorce was final in January this year (after a year long battle over the home that they built together) and in March she moved the new fiance into her home. Quite the stellar example to Shelby isn't it? Mark has not talked to nor seen Shelby in two years now. Mary has blocked every attempt he has made, and last Christmas she REFUSED to put Shelby on the plane for her two weeks with us. Shelby emailed Mark after that fiasco and told him that 'right now I do not want a relationship with you, but when I am an adult I will want one'. Coming from a 15 year old (she is almost 17 now!) that said a lot to us. We know from talking to Marys third ex husband that Mary would go into a two to three day rage whenever Mark would call to talk to Shelby or send her a letter. Apparently she made that home a living hell. SO, Mark made the responsible choice to just let Shelby have the next few years of peace and quite so she can graduate and move on with her life. When she is ready to have a relationship with him, she will contact him. As for her schooling, Shelby is falling through the cracks. Normally a straight A student, she is now pulling in C's and D's. She used to be in the top ten in Cross Country, but now is not even close. Since September, she has been late to 21 classes, and absent from 29, and that is just in four months. We think that Mary is so invested in keeping this fourth relationship from failing that she is neglecting Shelby. There is nothing we can do but watch...and be prepared to pick up the pieces when we are asked to by Shelby. :) We have 18 months left of paying child support and of having to deal with Mary. That time will fly by and then we are done!
Now...on to happier topics! My brother is getting married in the spring and his fiance lives in Switzerland and so that is where they shall be living. Mark and I are planning on taking the kids to Europe in 2012 for a vacation and to see lots of exciting things. On our short list is Switzerland (which will be our base!), Paris, Italy, and Germany....but we shall see how things shape up closer to our travel time.
Last September for my birthday we got a Yorkshire Terrier which we named Dexter. He is adorable and has certainly become a beloved (albeit bratty!) member of our family!
And that brings us to today! We had three days of snow and ice and bitterly cold weather about two weeks ago, and that was it. Now we are in a flood watch until tomorrow due to the incredibly heavy rains! We are still hoping the temps will plummet (currently it is 51 degrees) so that we can have a white Christmas...but I think that might be wishful dreaming! We are all excited about Christmas and have had a flurry of shopping and wrapping and today I start the baking!
I wish each and every one of you a Very Merry Christmas, and I hope to hear from you! Leave a comment, or feel free to email me at k_did@hotmail.com
Love to you all....
Jaye
I actually prefer to blog, as writing is a love of mine that goes back to when I was a little girl. Words fascinate me. I love them. I love stringing them together like one would put a string of beads together. You can string words together that make a perfect picture, or you can string words together that really make no sense, so there is an art to words and all that is 'writing'. I cannot draw a stick man to save my life, but I can write up a storm!
Our life since the last post...which has been awhile! :) I think the BIGGEST happening has been that Mark is now a retired Sailor! He retired from the United States Navy, Submarine Fleet, after 20 years of service. He had a two week window that he did not have a job before he began his new adventure working for Puget Sound Naval Shipyard. Yes, he is doing the same thing that he spent the past 20 years doing, only as a civilian and for MUCH BETTER money! :)
Sam will be twenty in four days. I don't know how that happened. One minute I was dealing with the 8 week early birth of this four pound baby boy and the loss of his twin brother and then I blinked and he is 20! He is getting ready to move out of our house and into his own place with three other friends. This is such a bittersweet thing for me. I want him to live with us forever and I want him to GET OUT! :) I know how excited he is to move out. He found his wings awhile back and has been flexing them ever since, but now he is going to FLY...he may fly back to the nest a few times, but isn't that what life is about? You try your wings, you fly back to the nest to regroup and then you try again. Of course, he may NOT fly back to the nest, perhaps that is just wishful thinking on my part! ;)
Paige and Ben are both in the gifted program and attend a school for gifted kids. Paige is in the sixth grade doing high school math...and recently tested AHL (above High school Level) in reading. She is doing wonderfully academically. She is also a normal 'almost' 12 year old. Her body is changing, her attitude is reflecting these changes, and we are adjusting to this new stage in her life.
Ben is in fourth grade, doing sixth grade math and also doing well academically. He is obsessed with building paper airplanes right now, at least until something else grabs his interest and pulls him into its clutches for a length of time. That is how Ben is. He finds something he likes and his life becomes all about that until something else grabs his fancy. Part of what makes him...well..Ben!
I am also in school! I have finished two quarters now and am on a three week break. So far I have all A's but I cannot brag too much as I know that as soon as I get a big head about it, I'll get a b...or worse! I am getting my bachelors degree in Psychology and then my Masters in Marriage and Family counseling. I have an associates degree in Legal Sciences, which allows me to be a paralegal if I want, and I had planned on becoming a Family Law Attorney, but have decided that I'd rather be an ADVOCATE for families than someone who helps tear them apart. We have enough broken families in the world today.....
Marks ex wife is on husband number four...well, they aren't yet married, they are engaged. Her third divorce was final in January this year (after a year long battle over the home that they built together) and in March she moved the new fiance into her home. Quite the stellar example to Shelby isn't it? Mark has not talked to nor seen Shelby in two years now. Mary has blocked every attempt he has made, and last Christmas she REFUSED to put Shelby on the plane for her two weeks with us. Shelby emailed Mark after that fiasco and told him that 'right now I do not want a relationship with you, but when I am an adult I will want one'. Coming from a 15 year old (she is almost 17 now!) that said a lot to us. We know from talking to Marys third ex husband that Mary would go into a two to three day rage whenever Mark would call to talk to Shelby or send her a letter. Apparently she made that home a living hell. SO, Mark made the responsible choice to just let Shelby have the next few years of peace and quite so she can graduate and move on with her life. When she is ready to have a relationship with him, she will contact him. As for her schooling, Shelby is falling through the cracks. Normally a straight A student, she is now pulling in C's and D's. She used to be in the top ten in Cross Country, but now is not even close. Since September, she has been late to 21 classes, and absent from 29, and that is just in four months. We think that Mary is so invested in keeping this fourth relationship from failing that she is neglecting Shelby. There is nothing we can do but watch...and be prepared to pick up the pieces when we are asked to by Shelby. :) We have 18 months left of paying child support and of having to deal with Mary. That time will fly by and then we are done!
Now...on to happier topics! My brother is getting married in the spring and his fiance lives in Switzerland and so that is where they shall be living. Mark and I are planning on taking the kids to Europe in 2012 for a vacation and to see lots of exciting things. On our short list is Switzerland (which will be our base!), Paris, Italy, and Germany....but we shall see how things shape up closer to our travel time.
Last September for my birthday we got a Yorkshire Terrier which we named Dexter. He is adorable and has certainly become a beloved (albeit bratty!) member of our family!
And that brings us to today! We had three days of snow and ice and bitterly cold weather about two weeks ago, and that was it. Now we are in a flood watch until tomorrow due to the incredibly heavy rains! We are still hoping the temps will plummet (currently it is 51 degrees) so that we can have a white Christmas...but I think that might be wishful dreaming! We are all excited about Christmas and have had a flurry of shopping and wrapping and today I start the baking!
I wish each and every one of you a Very Merry Christmas, and I hope to hear from you! Leave a comment, or feel free to email me at k_did@hotmail.com
Love to you all....
Jaye
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