It's 'Holy Week'. Our 40 days of Lent, of giving something up is almost to an end. I gave up alcohol. Mark gave up soda. Ben said he'd give up school! :) On Friday, we are supposed to fast for the day in remembrance of the day Jesus was crucified. Those of you who know me, know that I spent 30 years in a very claustrophobic religion that didn't allow room for thought or individuality. So having escaped from it, I spent ten years not being religious..but being quite spiritual (yes, there IS a difference!). Now, for the past four years Mark and I have been attending NewLife, a non denominational Christian religion. This is our first year of giving something up for Lent. And while I really like the idea of observing Jesus sacrifice, I am not so sure I am wanting to fast! It sounds like I am really making a commitment to a 'religion' and that just sits wrong with me. Then I think, this isn't about a commitment to a 'religion' but to a way of life. A life of living my best. Of reaching for the stars and fulfilling my dreams. Of leading in areas I can teach and being a student in areas that I can learn. It's about being a good wife and mother, without giving up so much of myself that I become a shell of myself. This is all so different from my past 'religious' way of life...and I like it! So maybe I'll fast, maybe I won't. But what I do know is, if I decide to NOT fast, I am not going to feel guilty. I am not going to be hauled in front of the Church body of pastors. Because something I've learned from NewLife is that MY faith is MY business...and THAT is what it should be about!
Holy week ends with Easter Sunday. Around our house, it's not so much a religious day as it is a family day. Yes, we'll go to Church in the morning, but before we go, there will be the egg hunt, and this year, instead of the Easter Bunny leaving the kids baskets for them, they are going to have to go on a scavenger hunt for them! There will be chocolates and new movies and ham and lamb and lots of good things to eat.
This week is a far cry from this time of year in my 'old' religion. It wasn't a week about your faith. Or about family. It wasn't about fun and laughter and loving God. It was about guilt and sadness and being beaten down emotionally.
I sure like my New Life! :)
Hugs to all,
Jaye
Tuesday, March 30, 2010
Wednesday, March 10, 2010
Quintuplets....and choices...
Four years ago, a gal in our church and her husband went in for infertility treatments. They had done this once before and it resulted in a single baby. Keep in mind that at this point in time, the couple and their two year old lived in an 800 square foot home, mom had no degree but was going to start her own 'at home' daycare center in order to add to the families finances, and Dad was in the middle of an apprenticeship and not yet making decent money.
So, on with the infertility treatments..only this time around, they ended up with five embryos! FIVE! Her fertility specialist as well as her ob/gyn suggested a 'fetal reduction' in which two or three of the fetuses would be chosen to be terminated, thus giving the others a better chance at survival. This woman (I'll refer to her as C) prayed long and hard and on the morning of the procedure, decided this was not something her faith would allow her to do and she chose to carry on with a quintuplet pregnancy and all that would involve. God Bless her for that as it was NOT easy. She spent the last five months on complete bed rest in the hospital, and the babies were all born prematurely...but healthy! YAY!
Our church leaders had met with them while they were making this tough choice, and told them once they decided to keep all five babies that the church would support them through prayer, and do all they could to provide for them financially, whatever that may be. Sounds good right?
Well..flash forward...these kids are almost four now..and CUTE CUTE CUTE. My issue? MOM. She whines about EVERYTHING. She went onto her blog a few years ago and BLASTED the church for not providing them with a new home. The church did NOT say they would give them a new home, they SAID they would do what they could for them financially....what this ended up being was over 50,000 dollars towards their new home (which is a HUGE home btw..easily a 400,000 dollar home!) as well as providing them with a list of volunteers..let me repeat that..VOLUNTEERS who came in AROUND THE CLOCK ...yes, 24 hours a day, in shifts...for a YEAR to help with feeding, bathing etc...a local 'cook for a day/eat for a month' business here in town also gave this family meals for a YEAR. FREE. Montel Williams gave each of the kids a college scholarship fund..and the local news has followed them since pregnancy and has been able to donate alot of things (five car seats...strollers..diapers for a year blah blah blah). But still....this woman complains. The kids keep her up at night..the kids are being too loud..she has a headache...the kids are getting into everything and WHY oh WHY can't she just have five minutes to herself.....today is her Bday apparently, and she went on her facebook and posted how two kids pee'd their beds..another one pooped on the floor and they are ALL just being HORRID and it's her BIRTHDAY..can she not have ONE DAY of peace?
My answer to that? Uh..NO. You CHOSE to have all five babies..AFTER you CHOSE to go for infertility treatments and KNEW the odds of having a multiple birth! Did anyone say it was going to be easy? nope. Does anyone fault you for having a 'I need a few minutes to myself' day like all of us mommies have? nope. But for the Love of ALL that is Holy woman, YOU CHOSE THIS LIFE. You actively went out and pursued this...and accepted the risk..and chose to do it. If you couldn't afford to have six kids, then you shouldn't have had SIX KIDS (the quints plus the one they had). Don't whine because no one bought you a house! Mark and I have five kids between us and we bought our own damn house! Don't whine because your day is so busy, WELCOME TO THE REALITY OF BEING ALIVE! Yes being a mom means you are going to be crazy busy...but this was a CHOICE you made....
Gah...drives me nuts when people make choices with their own free will and then bitch and moan about it after it doesn't turn out as rosy and 'storybookish' as they thought it would.
Hugs to all,
Jaye
So, on with the infertility treatments..only this time around, they ended up with five embryos! FIVE! Her fertility specialist as well as her ob/gyn suggested a 'fetal reduction' in which two or three of the fetuses would be chosen to be terminated, thus giving the others a better chance at survival. This woman (I'll refer to her as C) prayed long and hard and on the morning of the procedure, decided this was not something her faith would allow her to do and she chose to carry on with a quintuplet pregnancy and all that would involve. God Bless her for that as it was NOT easy. She spent the last five months on complete bed rest in the hospital, and the babies were all born prematurely...but healthy! YAY!
Our church leaders had met with them while they were making this tough choice, and told them once they decided to keep all five babies that the church would support them through prayer, and do all they could to provide for them financially, whatever that may be. Sounds good right?
Well..flash forward...these kids are almost four now..and CUTE CUTE CUTE. My issue? MOM. She whines about EVERYTHING. She went onto her blog a few years ago and BLASTED the church for not providing them with a new home. The church did NOT say they would give them a new home, they SAID they would do what they could for them financially....what this ended up being was over 50,000 dollars towards their new home (which is a HUGE home btw..easily a 400,000 dollar home!) as well as providing them with a list of volunteers..let me repeat that..VOLUNTEERS who came in AROUND THE CLOCK ...yes, 24 hours a day, in shifts...for a YEAR to help with feeding, bathing etc...a local 'cook for a day/eat for a month' business here in town also gave this family meals for a YEAR. FREE. Montel Williams gave each of the kids a college scholarship fund..and the local news has followed them since pregnancy and has been able to donate alot of things (five car seats...strollers..diapers for a year blah blah blah). But still....this woman complains. The kids keep her up at night..the kids are being too loud..she has a headache...the kids are getting into everything and WHY oh WHY can't she just have five minutes to herself.....today is her Bday apparently, and she went on her facebook and posted how two kids pee'd their beds..another one pooped on the floor and they are ALL just being HORRID and it's her BIRTHDAY..can she not have ONE DAY of peace?
My answer to that? Uh..NO. You CHOSE to have all five babies..AFTER you CHOSE to go for infertility treatments and KNEW the odds of having a multiple birth! Did anyone say it was going to be easy? nope. Does anyone fault you for having a 'I need a few minutes to myself' day like all of us mommies have? nope. But for the Love of ALL that is Holy woman, YOU CHOSE THIS LIFE. You actively went out and pursued this...and accepted the risk..and chose to do it. If you couldn't afford to have six kids, then you shouldn't have had SIX KIDS (the quints plus the one they had). Don't whine because no one bought you a house! Mark and I have five kids between us and we bought our own damn house! Don't whine because your day is so busy, WELCOME TO THE REALITY OF BEING ALIVE! Yes being a mom means you are going to be crazy busy...but this was a CHOICE you made....
Gah...drives me nuts when people make choices with their own free will and then bitch and moan about it after it doesn't turn out as rosy and 'storybookish' as they thought it would.
Hugs to all,
Jaye
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