So many of my girlfriends post pictures of themselves and their daughters on facebook having 'girl weekends' or 'girl time'. These are women my age with daughters Paiges age (13). I am not against 'girl time'. In fact, my girl and I went out for frozen yogurt yesterday as she had early release from school and we had an hour before we had to pick up her brother. We love our time together...and you can often find the two of us lost at Barnes and Noble scouring for our next good read, or sitting in Starbucks having a coffee and hot chocolate and a snack together. Mom and daughter time is great!
So what do I object to? I object to these women turning their 13 year old daughters into their slutty best friends! These girls are dressed in sexy, revealing clothes. Low ride jeans with crop tops and high heels or teeny tiny bikinis. And these moms are taking them for 'girl time' to big hotels and going out on the town (dressed in these sexy outfits).
So to all my fellow mothers let me say some things to you.
A) Your daughter is NOT your best friend. She is your daughter. She HAS best friends, and so should you. If you don't you need to work on that. You are her MOTHER. Which means you set the expectations and rules, and you guide her through this crazy journey of becoming a woman.
B) Do not let your daughter dress like a whore. There are several reasons for this - there are far too many men out there who have a thing for little girls. Don't make your daughter a walking target. If you let your daughter dress like this at a very young age, before she has developed a true sense of herself, then her sense of herself, her value, will be her body. She will believe that to dress sexy and get attention is how she is to proceed in the world. Women can be sexy and beautiful, but being smart is also a good thing! Yes, your daughter can dress pretty, and wear all those cute things you are too old or too fat to fit into...but seriously, when you dress her in high heels, low ride pants, and crop tops you look like a Madam with her girls. Seriously.
C) Girl time out with your daughter should be fun....clean innocent fun. Not a night out on the town pretending she is over 21 and is your best friend...if you have problems following this read A and B again. And again. And Again. Until you get the point that YOU are your daughters single most important influence. How she turns out as a woman is based mainly on you. The kinds of relationships she has is based mainly on her watching you and YOUR relationships.
Lets be the kinds of mothers that value being a woman. Lets be fun, healthy, smart, and pretty. Let's show our daughters what a strong, fun loving woman really looks like.....lets not train her to be 'that girl' that the entire football team knows about!
Hugs to you all....
Jaye
Saturday, June 23, 2012
Saturday, June 16, 2012
Ok, so it's been awhile!
Almost a year in fact! So much has happened in this past year! Mark is loving retirement and doing very well with his new job as an oceanographic electrician - and has had two promotions in 18 months and is jonesing for another one soon! He's been told it usually takes guys 9 years to get to the point he has gotten in just under 2! He is truly a wonderful worker!
Speaking of work, I have a job! I have taken my degree in Legal Sciences and am a paralegal for a busy family/criminal law firm. There are two of us and we are kept hopping. Love my job and LOVE the people I work for/with. We are treated like family. The hours are perfect for our family (10:30-4:30), with the office closed at noon on Fridays (still getting paid for the full day!). In the summer the other Paralegal and I take turns having every other Friday off. See? Perfect job!
Sam is well established on his own. He is a starving/working college student. He is looking forward to moving in to an apartment with his best buddy in October and getting out of the place he is in. It will just be a better fit for him. He is in college to become either an ESL teacher in Japan OR a high school level Japanese teacher. He has not decided which path to take yet but it will involve Japanese somehow.
Paige is in Junior high and loving it. She is still in a gifted program but at the Junior High level it is called the "Magnet Program". She will do this to the end of grade 8 and then will take AP classes throughout the rest of high school. She will start the Running Start program in grade 11, which will allow her to have almost all her credits for an AA by the time she graduates high school. She has her life mapped out, right down to the University she will attend. I know that the best laid plans and all, but for now it is fun to watch her map it out.
Ben is still in the Venture program in grade 5. He will do this till the end of grade 6 and then follow in Paiges footsteps. He recently did the state wide testing for reading and math and his results put him 8 grade levels above where he is at! His teacher said the only reason he didn't get further in the math test was he doesn't know trigonometry - that he did the algebra part after he figured out all the formula on his own! He sure did NOT get his math gene from me!
Shelby is 18 and has graduated high school. This means we are DONE with her insane mothers CRAP. No more child support. Mary has filed for college tuition, but the attorney I work for is also Marks attorney and he has said that he will fight this for us for FREE and that Mary really has no chance. Shelby hasn't spoken to Mark in over 4 years, which is sad for both Mark and Shelby. As my best friend said, if Mary had just accepted Mark (and eventually me when we were married) into Shelbys life, we could have made a great support team for Shelby. Unfortunately, Mary could not do this and has caused remarkable turmoil in Shelby's life. Mary is now on husband number 4 (Mark was number one) so we shall see how much more damage she does to Shelby.
All in all, life is good. Busy and hectic. Relationships take work, and ours is not any different. After 14 years we are still together and are successfully navigating all the changes that have occurred (from full time sea duty to retirement is NOT an easy change!).....
Hugs to you all...
Jaye
Speaking of work, I have a job! I have taken my degree in Legal Sciences and am a paralegal for a busy family/criminal law firm. There are two of us and we are kept hopping. Love my job and LOVE the people I work for/with. We are treated like family. The hours are perfect for our family (10:30-4:30), with the office closed at noon on Fridays (still getting paid for the full day!). In the summer the other Paralegal and I take turns having every other Friday off. See? Perfect job!
Sam is well established on his own. He is a starving/working college student. He is looking forward to moving in to an apartment with his best buddy in October and getting out of the place he is in. It will just be a better fit for him. He is in college to become either an ESL teacher in Japan OR a high school level Japanese teacher. He has not decided which path to take yet but it will involve Japanese somehow.
Paige is in Junior high and loving it. She is still in a gifted program but at the Junior High level it is called the "Magnet Program". She will do this to the end of grade 8 and then will take AP classes throughout the rest of high school. She will start the Running Start program in grade 11, which will allow her to have almost all her credits for an AA by the time she graduates high school. She has her life mapped out, right down to the University she will attend. I know that the best laid plans and all, but for now it is fun to watch her map it out.
Ben is still in the Venture program in grade 5. He will do this till the end of grade 6 and then follow in Paiges footsteps. He recently did the state wide testing for reading and math and his results put him 8 grade levels above where he is at! His teacher said the only reason he didn't get further in the math test was he doesn't know trigonometry - that he did the algebra part after he figured out all the formula on his own! He sure did NOT get his math gene from me!
Shelby is 18 and has graduated high school. This means we are DONE with her insane mothers CRAP. No more child support. Mary has filed for college tuition, but the attorney I work for is also Marks attorney and he has said that he will fight this for us for FREE and that Mary really has no chance. Shelby hasn't spoken to Mark in over 4 years, which is sad for both Mark and Shelby. As my best friend said, if Mary had just accepted Mark (and eventually me when we were married) into Shelbys life, we could have made a great support team for Shelby. Unfortunately, Mary could not do this and has caused remarkable turmoil in Shelby's life. Mary is now on husband number 4 (Mark was number one) so we shall see how much more damage she does to Shelby.
All in all, life is good. Busy and hectic. Relationships take work, and ours is not any different. After 14 years we are still together and are successfully navigating all the changes that have occurred (from full time sea duty to retirement is NOT an easy change!).....
Hugs to you all...
Jaye
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