Yup. 364 days. Less than a year. The insanity that is Marks ex wife will be done in less than a year. I am glad I didn't know back then what I was getting into, because honestly, I am not sure I would have if I had known what it was going to be like. Don't get me wrong. Mark is my world. We have an amazing life. Wonderful kids. I wouldn't change it. But hindsight truly is 20/20. It has taken a lot on my part to put up with his ex wife and all her insanity. Truly a lot. I have had to pay out thousands of dollars to attorneys fees and unnecessary medical bills while we have sacrificed and done without at times. And to be perfectly honest, I have resented it many times. There has been no reason for all of this insanity. Other than Mary cannot function at a normal level. But there is no fixing her, I have realized that over the years. I cannot control it or fix it. So I carry on living my wonderfully happy life. Knowing that I am truly at peace most days, and on the days that I have had enough, I just breathe in deeply and say 'only 364 more days'! :)
In other more important news, I have a job! A real, out in the adult world, using my degree JOB! WoOhOo! I will be working for Marks attorney (so having to deal with Mary HAS had some perks! lol) and as I know everyone in the office, I know it will be a great place to work. I am excited. And nervous. And EXCITED! and I need new clothes! And EXCITED! I wasn't actually looking for a job but this one really just fell in my lap. And everything has fallen into place. The hours are perfect for our family, 10:30 to 4:30 every day, with weekends off! It will allow me to keep our morning routine the same and get me home at a decent hour every evening. A good friend has been recruited (with a cash bribe!) to drive Ben from the bus stop to our house every day. He is old enough now to be on his own for an hour. Paige is thrilled to be allowed to walk from her Junior High....stop. Read that again. Yes, JUNIOR HIGH! GAH! How did that happen?? Anyways, she will walk from the Junior high down the hill to the new YMCA that was built this spring. Most of her friends go there after school, so she is thrilled! She can go for a swim, or do her homework, or take a class...and will be there for less than two hours before I (or Mark) picks her up. It all just works out so very very well!
Sometimes, when you just wait for it, the Plan falls into place....
Hugs to all,
Jaye
Ps. Happy Canada Day!
Friday, July 01, 2011
Thursday, May 26, 2011
Life.....
Life has become so insanely busy. I always have good intentions about blogging. And then life intrudes! Paige and Ben are busy with baseball season. Two practices and a game or two a week. Mark and I just finished teaching our spring session of Divorce Recovery (13 weeks, twice a year!). I am still insanely busy with school, and Mark is busy being a superstar at work, and getting lots of overtime.
The MOST exciting thing has been that my brother got married last week! He is in his mid 30's and has taken his time to find the right gal. And oh, she is the one. She is pretty, and funny, and smart, and oh so perfect. We heart her. And he hearts her. and that is all that matters!
Some things don't change. Mary is still being ...........Mary. She has taken Shelby to EIGHTEEN doctors visits in the past four months. You read that right. That means 18 bills. All for nothing. Turns out Shelby is perfectly healthy. Mark emailed Mary and told her that after living with her mom for 17 years, maybe what Shelby needs is a therapist (sometimes he can be so precise!). But you know what? I wouldn't trade any of it for the world. I am in a good place, and all of this is really showing Shelby what life is really all about. Mark will always be able to say he did his most, his best, his fullest for her. And in 12 months our obligations are over. At that point, it is up to Shelby to seek Mark out, and perhaps then, the two of them can do their thing, without Mary and her insanity in the mix.
Spring is 'supposed' to be here, but we have had only 29 days without rain so far this year. It will be interesting to see what this winter will be like. We have projects in the planning stages, with the entire renovation of our home as the top one!
We are trying to go home for Thanksgiving, but with gas prices what they are, we can't see spending over 2000 dollars for six days. Hopefully things will change......
In the meantime, life goes on full speed ahead. And I love it.
Hugs to all,
Jayae
The MOST exciting thing has been that my brother got married last week! He is in his mid 30's and has taken his time to find the right gal. And oh, she is the one. She is pretty, and funny, and smart, and oh so perfect. We heart her. And he hearts her. and that is all that matters!
Some things don't change. Mary is still being ...........Mary. She has taken Shelby to EIGHTEEN doctors visits in the past four months. You read that right. That means 18 bills. All for nothing. Turns out Shelby is perfectly healthy. Mark emailed Mary and told her that after living with her mom for 17 years, maybe what Shelby needs is a therapist (sometimes he can be so precise!). But you know what? I wouldn't trade any of it for the world. I am in a good place, and all of this is really showing Shelby what life is really all about. Mark will always be able to say he did his most, his best, his fullest for her. And in 12 months our obligations are over. At that point, it is up to Shelby to seek Mark out, and perhaps then, the two of them can do their thing, without Mary and her insanity in the mix.
Spring is 'supposed' to be here, but we have had only 29 days without rain so far this year. It will be interesting to see what this winter will be like. We have projects in the planning stages, with the entire renovation of our home as the top one!
We are trying to go home for Thanksgiving, but with gas prices what they are, we can't see spending over 2000 dollars for six days. Hopefully things will change......
In the meantime, life goes on full speed ahead. And I love it.
Hugs to all,
Jayae
Monday, April 25, 2011
13 Months and counting....
On May first, Mark will make another child support payment, just as he does every month. Then we are down to just 13 more! He has not heard from nor seen Shelby in almost three years. This of course is because of Mary and her influence and insanity, which never seems to get any better. I have said in the past that she is insane, and I stick by that comment.
Her latest thing is trotting Shelby out to every Doctor and Specialist known to man. I have always thought that Mary suffers from "Munchausen by Proxy" and in fact, she fits the profile perfectly. Shelby has had over 15 doctors appointments in the past three months alone! Anyways, her latest one was today, an 'echocardiogram' for her heart. Mary said that she had mentioned to the Doctor that Shelby had a hole in her heart when she was born. The doctor asked her more about it and Mary admitted that it had closed up and Shelby was fine, but wanted it checked. When she emailed Mark about it, he said that the test was not necessary and that Mary should cancel the appointment. Mary emailed back saying that she could not do so as Mark emailed her too late for her to cancel and that there would have been a charge for her to cancel within the 24 hour window. Mark called the clinic and there is NO cancellation charge, people can cancel ANY time, AND the office is open 24/7 so Mary could have called at any point in time. Another example of how she just does whatever she wants with Shelby and blatantly disregards the parenting plan that says that she must include Mark. She just makes a show of it....
Anyways, the whole point of this is that in 13 months, months that are going to fly by, we shall be done with the constant silliness that comes with dealing with Mary and her delusional world.
The person I really feel badly for is Shelby. After all, in 13 months WE will no longer have to deal with Mary. Shelby will always have to live with her mothers insanity. God Help Her.....
Jaye
Her latest thing is trotting Shelby out to every Doctor and Specialist known to man. I have always thought that Mary suffers from "Munchausen by Proxy" and in fact, she fits the profile perfectly. Shelby has had over 15 doctors appointments in the past three months alone! Anyways, her latest one was today, an 'echocardiogram' for her heart. Mary said that she had mentioned to the Doctor that Shelby had a hole in her heart when she was born. The doctor asked her more about it and Mary admitted that it had closed up and Shelby was fine, but wanted it checked. When she emailed Mark about it, he said that the test was not necessary and that Mary should cancel the appointment. Mary emailed back saying that she could not do so as Mark emailed her too late for her to cancel and that there would have been a charge for her to cancel within the 24 hour window. Mark called the clinic and there is NO cancellation charge, people can cancel ANY time, AND the office is open 24/7 so Mary could have called at any point in time. Another example of how she just does whatever she wants with Shelby and blatantly disregards the parenting plan that says that she must include Mark. She just makes a show of it....
Anyways, the whole point of this is that in 13 months, months that are going to fly by, we shall be done with the constant silliness that comes with dealing with Mary and her delusional world.
The person I really feel badly for is Shelby. After all, in 13 months WE will no longer have to deal with Mary. Shelby will always have to live with her mothers insanity. God Help Her.....
Jaye
Wednesday, April 06, 2011
Is it Spring Yet?
The calendar says it is. My flip flops say it is. But one look out the window and you know it is NOT spring around here. A whopping 35 degrees today and it is April 6th! Actually hailed so much today that it looks like snow, What The Junk?? Bring on the sunshine already, six months of rain is MORE than enough!
I am a big fan of four seasons and the past few years it seems that WA state has only two: rainy season and two weeks of summer. I really don't mind the rain, it is the gray that accompanies it and I am done. I want sunshine and to wear flip flops and capris and I want to be able to know that if Mark calls from work and says 'lets grill out tonight' that by the time he gets home it will STILL be nice enough outside to grill out! Normally I wouldn't whine so much about the weather but I am really wanting to start running again and every time I set out to run it is raining. UGH.
So here is to hoping for Sunshine and lollipops and bunnies and flowers and all things spring like!
Have a good NON rainy day my friends!
Jaye
I am a big fan of four seasons and the past few years it seems that WA state has only two: rainy season and two weeks of summer. I really don't mind the rain, it is the gray that accompanies it and I am done. I want sunshine and to wear flip flops and capris and I want to be able to know that if Mark calls from work and says 'lets grill out tonight' that by the time he gets home it will STILL be nice enough outside to grill out! Normally I wouldn't whine so much about the weather but I am really wanting to start running again and every time I set out to run it is raining. UGH.
So here is to hoping for Sunshine and lollipops and bunnies and flowers and all things spring like!
Have a good NON rainy day my friends!
Jaye
Wednesday, March 02, 2011
Happy 17th Birthday Shelby.....
It is Shelbys birthday today. She is 17. I met Mark when she was two and married him when she was four. I have known her for 15 years. She has grown in my heart for 15 years. Because Mary is so bitter, and angry, and hostile, we have no contact with Shelby and haven't for 2 years. If we did, this is what I would like to say to her on her birthday:
Dear sweet Shelby...I have known you since you were a toddler. When I met you, Sam was 5 and Katie was 8...I was long past the 'baby' stage, and I remember the joy I had when I went shopping with your daddy for things to put inside a box for you for Easter. Colouring books and crayons, and special little things. I hope you had as much fun with those things as we did shopping for them!
I remember you coming out to Washington when you were 8, and I was very pregnant with Ben. You loved to pat my tummy, and were so excited to be having a baby brother to go with your sister!
And now here we are, with you turning 17! Proms and graduation, boyfriends and driving.....so many new things you are experiencing. I wish we could share it all with you. I am sorry that you cannot have your mom and dad in your life. I am sorry there has been so much pain caused by your parents divorce.
I wish I could change it, but I can't. What I can do is to let you know that we will always love you and you always have a place in our home and in our hearts.
Happy Birthday Sweet Girl!
Hugs to you!
Jaye
Dear sweet Shelby...I have known you since you were a toddler. When I met you, Sam was 5 and Katie was 8...I was long past the 'baby' stage, and I remember the joy I had when I went shopping with your daddy for things to put inside a box for you for Easter. Colouring books and crayons, and special little things. I hope you had as much fun with those things as we did shopping for them!
I remember you coming out to Washington when you were 8, and I was very pregnant with Ben. You loved to pat my tummy, and were so excited to be having a baby brother to go with your sister!
And now here we are, with you turning 17! Proms and graduation, boyfriends and driving.....so many new things you are experiencing. I wish we could share it all with you. I am sorry that you cannot have your mom and dad in your life. I am sorry there has been so much pain caused by your parents divorce.
I wish I could change it, but I can't. What I can do is to let you know that we will always love you and you always have a place in our home and in our hearts.
Happy Birthday Sweet Girl!
Hugs to you!
Jaye
Thursday, February 17, 2011
Promotions and snow and four day weekends....
After only six months on the job, Mark received his first promotion yesterday! This means moving up a step on the job ladder AND a nice pay raise! :) It is so nice to see this wonderful man finally get recognized for his work ethic and values. In the Navy, promotions are based on test results and 'points' accumulated due to medals earned etc. While Mark made rank as fast as was possible, you really can only get 'promoted' once every four or five years due to politics etc. SO. It is just nice that he can get promotions based on what he does and how he does it, and not on some political formula! So, Congrats to my sweet man on his promotion and YAY for me to have more money to spend! :)
Snow.....we have been told we will get snow this weekend. While the rest of the country is sick to death of snow after being buried in it for months, we are still waiting for a big snow event here. We have had two small snowfalls, neither one lasting longer than a day. It would snow at night, then be gone by the next afternoon. I am trying to tell God that this would be a GREAT weekend for it too, after all, we DO have a four day weekend!
Speaking of the four day weekend, it is going to be such a nice break! This is my second to last week of this current term at school, which means I have not only had the regular load of homework, but have been writing papers for the final week. All my big projects are done, and by the end of tomorrow, I'll have all my weekly homework done, so this four day weekend will be SUCH a nice break! My academic supervisor screwed up my schedule, so I have three back to back terms to do. That means 24 weeks with maybe a day or three in between each one. This is the first of the three terms...I start three days after this term ends on the second of the three back to back terms and so I will be busy, busy, busy until Easter. I plan on having a pajama weekend! :)
So whatever this weekend is going to bring you, enjoy it! I know I am going to!
Hugs to all,
Jaye
Snow.....we have been told we will get snow this weekend. While the rest of the country is sick to death of snow after being buried in it for months, we are still waiting for a big snow event here. We have had two small snowfalls, neither one lasting longer than a day. It would snow at night, then be gone by the next afternoon. I am trying to tell God that this would be a GREAT weekend for it too, after all, we DO have a four day weekend!
Speaking of the four day weekend, it is going to be such a nice break! This is my second to last week of this current term at school, which means I have not only had the regular load of homework, but have been writing papers for the final week. All my big projects are done, and by the end of tomorrow, I'll have all my weekly homework done, so this four day weekend will be SUCH a nice break! My academic supervisor screwed up my schedule, so I have three back to back terms to do. That means 24 weeks with maybe a day or three in between each one. This is the first of the three terms...I start three days after this term ends on the second of the three back to back terms and so I will be busy, busy, busy until Easter. I plan on having a pajama weekend! :)
So whatever this weekend is going to bring you, enjoy it! I know I am going to!
Hugs to all,
Jaye
Wednesday, February 09, 2011
National Lox and Bagels day...
Along with my regular facebook page, I also have a 'food' facebook page simply because I had so many people wanting recipes of things I had talked about making on my facebook page and I wanted THEIR recipes, so it just seemed more efficient to create a page dedicated to my foodie friends and I. I have to admit that I am bad about keeping up with it. Life gets in my way..but I'd love to really post once a day on there and maintain it...perhaps one day when the craziness of homework and psych papers being due subsides I will actually be able to do a daily post. In the meantime, it is very hit and miss. I DO try to at least post the 'National Day of______' whatever it happens to be that day. Today is National Lox and Bagels day. This got me reminiscing about a little deli that used to be in my hometown. It was actually a fish shop- but it was run by a Jewish man so I guess that is why you could also by the worlds best bagels at this fish shop. There was nothing better than getting to the shop in time for the bagels to still be warm from the oven. The owner would slather them with cream cheese...not just your run of the mill 'kraft philly' cream cheese either...but thick cream cheese that came in these lovely big tubs...then he would stack thinly sliced, MADE IN HIS SHOP lox over the top...oh Heavenly goodness...it was lovely. The shop is no longer there...well, the building is, but there is a new business in it and life goes on.
This memory got me to thinking about my hometown, and all its little shops and cute little quirks. Art is a big deal in this town. Lots of artists live 'in the creek'. If you are from there you'll know that this doesn't mean they literally live IN a creek, but they live in a town called Roberts Creek..affectionately known as 'The Creek'. The town boasts lots of little independent shops...book shops...art shops....pottery shops...and I use the word 'shop' intentionally. These are not 'stores' where you are in and out...but they are 'shops' in that even if you don't buy anything, you want to spend time really soaking everything in....
These memories all get me to realizing how homesick I am at times. I love my life. I love my family. I love the States. But I am a Canadian and always will be. Canada is my home. And I miss her. Once we get our passports we will be making a trip 'home'. I need to drive in kilometers. I need to put liters of gas in my car. I need to listen to people talk who lilt their sentences at the end. And I need dill pickle chips.
Oh Canada....how I miss you.
Hugs to all,
Jaye
This memory got me to thinking about my hometown, and all its little shops and cute little quirks. Art is a big deal in this town. Lots of artists live 'in the creek'. If you are from there you'll know that this doesn't mean they literally live IN a creek, but they live in a town called Roberts Creek..affectionately known as 'The Creek'. The town boasts lots of little independent shops...book shops...art shops....pottery shops...and I use the word 'shop' intentionally. These are not 'stores' where you are in and out...but they are 'shops' in that even if you don't buy anything, you want to spend time really soaking everything in....
These memories all get me to realizing how homesick I am at times. I love my life. I love my family. I love the States. But I am a Canadian and always will be. Canada is my home. And I miss her. Once we get our passports we will be making a trip 'home'. I need to drive in kilometers. I need to put liters of gas in my car. I need to listen to people talk who lilt their sentences at the end. And I need dill pickle chips.
Oh Canada....how I miss you.
Hugs to all,
Jaye
Saturday, January 15, 2011
Long Weekend.....
I love the long weekends...mostly! Here I sit at almost 3pm on a Saturday and I know I still have two more days to go! Mark had to work today (BOO YAH OVERTIME) but will end up still getting a two day weekend because of the long weekend, AND get paid for one of his 'weekend' days! Sweet!
We are having company for dinner tonight and so I have been prepping the food. I am making a South African dish that I learned from my late mother in law (late because I divorced her son, and late because sadly, she died a few weeks ago) called Peri Peri Chicken..I'll bake it in the oven along with a mix of potatoes and onions (and garlic!), and do some sort of veggie. Our friends are bringing over some 'cow' they said (yes, they said COW! lol)...and she is making something decadent that involves caramel. If it isn't TOO rainy (doubtful, THANKS WA STATE!!) we'll have a bonfire, otherwise, we'll find something to occupy us! Mark and I have always been big on entertaining...we love being around people, we love opening up our home (which is soon to be renovated!!!), and we love cooking (ok, mostly I like EATING!)...
Tomorrow we'll head off to church in the morning and then the rest of the day is open for plans, whatever they may be. Same with Monday, minus the Church part....and here is what I don't like about long weekends, for the rest of the week, I am going to be a day behind! When one is going to college and has a schedule of classes and homework, being a day behind doesn't always work out well, which is why I am going to try (note, I said TRY) to get a bit ahead this weekend. We'll see.
In the meantime, I need to get back to cooking. Have a great weekend all, I know that we sure will! :)
Hugs to all,
Jaye
We are having company for dinner tonight and so I have been prepping the food. I am making a South African dish that I learned from my late mother in law (late because I divorced her son, and late because sadly, she died a few weeks ago) called Peri Peri Chicken..I'll bake it in the oven along with a mix of potatoes and onions (and garlic!), and do some sort of veggie. Our friends are bringing over some 'cow' they said (yes, they said COW! lol)...and she is making something decadent that involves caramel. If it isn't TOO rainy (doubtful, THANKS WA STATE!!) we'll have a bonfire, otherwise, we'll find something to occupy us! Mark and I have always been big on entertaining...we love being around people, we love opening up our home (which is soon to be renovated!!!), and we love cooking (ok, mostly I like EATING!)...
Tomorrow we'll head off to church in the morning and then the rest of the day is open for plans, whatever they may be. Same with Monday, minus the Church part....and here is what I don't like about long weekends, for the rest of the week, I am going to be a day behind! When one is going to college and has a schedule of classes and homework, being a day behind doesn't always work out well, which is why I am going to try (note, I said TRY) to get a bit ahead this weekend. We'll see.
In the meantime, I need to get back to cooking. Have a great weekend all, I know that we sure will! :)
Hugs to all,
Jaye
Thursday, January 06, 2011
Eating...
So we are a week into the New Year. You can tell by looking at your calendar. OR, you can tell by the number of people working up a sweat as they jog on the side of the road. In a month, that number will be slashed in half...by April, they will be too busy diving into their Easter baskets to care about running! :)
I will be 45 this year......thereby taking me out of the spring chicken category, as well as the tight ass, perky boob category. However, that doesn't mean that I can't be fit and healthy! So ask me if I am taking up jogging? Or dieting? Nope to both! I want to ease my way back into running, as I SO enjoyed it when I did it, but it is not a consuming goal for me. And diets DO. NOT. WORK. They just don't. What I have found is this, I am not meant to be a size 2. Or a 4. Right now I am comfortable in a six or eight, and that works for me. I could use some toning, and that will happen. Or it might not. I really don't care. What I DO care about is being able to play with my kids, to have a great sex life with my honey, and to just feel good overall. So I make better choices with my food. I don't starve myself, but I do try not to 'gorge'. Instead of regular potato chips, I'll opt for baked ones, or pretzels..or fat free microwave popcorn (DO NOT TELL ME HOW BAD IT IS FOR ME...I KNOW. BUT IT IS BETTER THAN CHIPS!). Instead of vegetable oil in my baking, I replace it with unsweetened apple sauce...I use fat free dairy products (did you know they actually have MORE calcium than full fat?)...I eat apples and carrots...and I TRY to do some 'active' thing each day. Notice I said TRY. I don't obsess. If I do, it only makes me feel badly about myself, and quite frankly, I am quite amazing! :) I am smart (straight A's so far in college!), I am a great mom...a wonderful wife (right Mark?), I can cook (man can I cook!), I am loyal to my friends, and I have managed to keep up with the laundry (that right there is Oscar material!!).
So what if the scale doesn't show me the same number it did when I was 18? I have traded that number for life experience. For laughter, and love, and loss, and true friendships....I have traded up...and I am not looking back!
I am off to make a cup of tea.....and have a snack...maybe some low fat cheese....or maybe a slice of that double chocolate cake we had for Paiges birthday last night...who knows. What I DO know is that either one will not make me happy or sad...it is just food...it is my LIFE that makes me happy! :)
Hugs to all,
Jaye
I will be 45 this year......thereby taking me out of the spring chicken category, as well as the tight ass, perky boob category. However, that doesn't mean that I can't be fit and healthy! So ask me if I am taking up jogging? Or dieting? Nope to both! I want to ease my way back into running, as I SO enjoyed it when I did it, but it is not a consuming goal for me. And diets DO. NOT. WORK. They just don't. What I have found is this, I am not meant to be a size 2. Or a 4. Right now I am comfortable in a six or eight, and that works for me. I could use some toning, and that will happen. Or it might not. I really don't care. What I DO care about is being able to play with my kids, to have a great sex life with my honey, and to just feel good overall. So I make better choices with my food. I don't starve myself, but I do try not to 'gorge'. Instead of regular potato chips, I'll opt for baked ones, or pretzels..or fat free microwave popcorn (DO NOT TELL ME HOW BAD IT IS FOR ME...I KNOW. BUT IT IS BETTER THAN CHIPS!). Instead of vegetable oil in my baking, I replace it with unsweetened apple sauce...I use fat free dairy products (did you know they actually have MORE calcium than full fat?)...I eat apples and carrots...and I TRY to do some 'active' thing each day. Notice I said TRY. I don't obsess. If I do, it only makes me feel badly about myself, and quite frankly, I am quite amazing! :) I am smart (straight A's so far in college!), I am a great mom...a wonderful wife (right Mark?), I can cook (man can I cook!), I am loyal to my friends, and I have managed to keep up with the laundry (that right there is Oscar material!!).
So what if the scale doesn't show me the same number it did when I was 18? I have traded that number for life experience. For laughter, and love, and loss, and true friendships....I have traded up...and I am not looking back!
I am off to make a cup of tea.....and have a snack...maybe some low fat cheese....or maybe a slice of that double chocolate cake we had for Paiges birthday last night...who knows. What I DO know is that either one will not make me happy or sad...it is just food...it is my LIFE that makes me happy! :)
Hugs to all,
Jaye
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