As days go by, more and more details come out about the mother who gave birth to eight babies. I made a mistake in my earlier post. Her HUSBAND is not the one going back to Iraq, her FATHER is. She is 33, divorced and living with her parents in a 1500 square foot home!
I firmly believe that the doctor that implanted 8 embryos into her should have his medical license revoked. I also believe the state of CA should deny this woman ANY help with her children. Sound harsh? Perhaps. But she was a single mother UNABLE to live on her own and support the children she already had, and yet she made a concerted effort to get pregnant AGAIN, to 'try to have another girl'. Is she for REAL??? Total irresponsibility. If you can't support the SIX children you already have what business do you have in having MORE?
I say these 8 children should be put up for adoption to good homes that can care for them. After all, if she can't support six kids, how in Gods name is she going to support 14????
Hugs to all,
Jaye
Saturday, January 31, 2009
Friday, January 30, 2009
Fertility treatments...should Doctors be held responsible?
Ok, I am going to just hop up on my handy dandy little soap box. I am sure that by now you have all heard about the woman in California who gave birth to Octuplets this past week. Through the 'miracle' of infertility treatments, she was able to have a child...errr...8 children.
Now, I am very familiar with the outcome of inferility treatments as I have several friends who had gone down this road after being unable to concieve 'naturally'. One of my friends did IVF and it took many many tries, but they now have a lovely 3 year old son. Another friend took another route to infertility by injecting herself with stimulation drugs to ovulate. Her and her husband already had one child (also concieved via treatments) and wanted another. They knew the ONLY way to have another child was to go through treatment and they were aware of the consequences of this, that they could conceivably (pardon the pun!) have multiples. Multiples indeed! She became pregnant with FIVE babies. They were given the choice of selective reduction (destroying one or more embyos in utero) and she actually made the appointment. Because of her faith and beliefs however, she could not go through with it and spent the last three months of her pregnancy in the hospital. It was not easy nor was it something she'd do again! But she did give birth to five very healthy babies who are now almost three! Having higher multiples like this is a concern as one or more fetuses may not get the proper nutrition etc in uturo and may have disabilities. So the choice to continue with a pregnancy of higher multiples is fraught with tough choices. However, when IVF of other fertility treatments are the ONLY way you can have a child, these are the choices you must make.
Getting back to this woman in California. She had SIX children already when she made the CHOICE (implying that she actively sought out help to have MORE) to go with infertility treatments and have more children. She concieved EIGHT. Thanks be to God they are all healthy so far. And I am sure she loves every one of them. But now this woman and her husband (a contractor headed BACK to Iraq!) have 14 children!!! This to me is complete irresponsibility! With six children ranging in age from 2-7 (yah you heard me...she has six kids under the age of 7!) she had her hands full already. Now don't get me wrong. I am not against large families. Many people choose to have them and hey..go for it. I can't bash large families, after all, Mark and I have five children between the two of us! Even with him having one child, and me having two we decided to bring another child into this world together. And then decided to bring one more into the world. But this was our choice and our children were never a burden financially to anyone. Now I am not saying that this family is going to become a burden on the State they live in (ie welfare etc) but what I AM trying to say, is that infertility treatments should be for couples who cannot have children. Who want a family and cannot have one the old fashioned way. It should even be for couples who have a few children (also IVF babies) and want one more. I guess I just find it completely irresponsible of this woman and her husband to go for infertility treatments (even if it resulted in just ONE more child!) when they already had SIX each a year apart! I also find it completely morally and ethically irresponsible of the Doctor who agreed to do this!! Obviously he was just in it for the money. Because no Doctor in his right mind should agree to IVF for a couple who already have six children! Seriously. I just find that this grates on me the wrong way (can you tell?).
I certainly hope that the State of California does not become the main supporter of these children. Especially given the economic times we are living in, parents who opt for infertility treatments should be able to financially support the resulting children no matter how many are concieved. Having a child is a gift, not a right. Having a child means being responsible and proactively parenting them, not popping out as many as you can and expecting everyone else to pay for them.
I am very interested indeed to see how these parents, especially this mom who is going to be on her own while her husband is in Iraq are going to raise 14 kids. Feed them, clothe them, nurture them..put them through college.
They could end up being either an inspiration to us all, or a catastrophe waiting to happen..
Hugs to all,
Jaye
Now, I am very familiar with the outcome of inferility treatments as I have several friends who had gone down this road after being unable to concieve 'naturally'. One of my friends did IVF and it took many many tries, but they now have a lovely 3 year old son. Another friend took another route to infertility by injecting herself with stimulation drugs to ovulate. Her and her husband already had one child (also concieved via treatments) and wanted another. They knew the ONLY way to have another child was to go through treatment and they were aware of the consequences of this, that they could conceivably (pardon the pun!) have multiples. Multiples indeed! She became pregnant with FIVE babies. They were given the choice of selective reduction (destroying one or more embyos in utero) and she actually made the appointment. Because of her faith and beliefs however, she could not go through with it and spent the last three months of her pregnancy in the hospital. It was not easy nor was it something she'd do again! But she did give birth to five very healthy babies who are now almost three! Having higher multiples like this is a concern as one or more fetuses may not get the proper nutrition etc in uturo and may have disabilities. So the choice to continue with a pregnancy of higher multiples is fraught with tough choices. However, when IVF of other fertility treatments are the ONLY way you can have a child, these are the choices you must make.
Getting back to this woman in California. She had SIX children already when she made the CHOICE (implying that she actively sought out help to have MORE) to go with infertility treatments and have more children. She concieved EIGHT. Thanks be to God they are all healthy so far. And I am sure she loves every one of them. But now this woman and her husband (a contractor headed BACK to Iraq!) have 14 children!!! This to me is complete irresponsibility! With six children ranging in age from 2-7 (yah you heard me...she has six kids under the age of 7!) she had her hands full already. Now don't get me wrong. I am not against large families. Many people choose to have them and hey..go for it. I can't bash large families, after all, Mark and I have five children between the two of us! Even with him having one child, and me having two we decided to bring another child into this world together. And then decided to bring one more into the world. But this was our choice and our children were never a burden financially to anyone. Now I am not saying that this family is going to become a burden on the State they live in (ie welfare etc) but what I AM trying to say, is that infertility treatments should be for couples who cannot have children. Who want a family and cannot have one the old fashioned way. It should even be for couples who have a few children (also IVF babies) and want one more. I guess I just find it completely irresponsible of this woman and her husband to go for infertility treatments (even if it resulted in just ONE more child!) when they already had SIX each a year apart! I also find it completely morally and ethically irresponsible of the Doctor who agreed to do this!! Obviously he was just in it for the money. Because no Doctor in his right mind should agree to IVF for a couple who already have six children! Seriously. I just find that this grates on me the wrong way (can you tell?).
I certainly hope that the State of California does not become the main supporter of these children. Especially given the economic times we are living in, parents who opt for infertility treatments should be able to financially support the resulting children no matter how many are concieved. Having a child is a gift, not a right. Having a child means being responsible and proactively parenting them, not popping out as many as you can and expecting everyone else to pay for them.
I am very interested indeed to see how these parents, especially this mom who is going to be on her own while her husband is in Iraq are going to raise 14 kids. Feed them, clothe them, nurture them..put them through college.
They could end up being either an inspiration to us all, or a catastrophe waiting to happen..
Hugs to all,
Jaye
Monday, January 26, 2009
Gung Hay Fat Choy.....and RIP Wasabi
Today starts the Chinese Year of the Ox. President Obama happens to be born in the year of the Ox. (Interesting little coincidence there).I remember when Katie and Sam were each in Kindergarden in Sechelt (small town in Canada) they took a field trip to the local chinese restaraunt ( I SAID it was a small town ok?!) and learned to use chopsticks and eat chinese food. It was always the 'big deal' field trip of Kindergarden! :)
Around HERE, however, it's the Day of the Hamster,or the passing thereof. Paiges little Panda Bear Hamster 'Wasabi' died in her sleep last night. She was 13 months old, which is sort of average for a hamster. Paige was heartbroken and I tried to say all the right things, while validating her feelings of sheer sorrow. If someone could use all the science available and 'invent' a pet that wouldn't die, parents everywhere would flock to buy one. It would seriously take one of the little pains out of childhood not to mention parenthood, to not ever have to deal with a pet death..
Paige cried for awhile, then her tears dried up and she got onto the 'logistics' of this death. Like how to bury Wasabi. She decided to fill up a gift bag (don't ask!) with pine shavings and put a napkin wrapped Wasabi into it and seal it up. Said bag containing one dead hamster is now in the shed, awaiting Marks return from sea, so he can attend the funeral. Thankfully this is not summer time, and I believe if I were to check on aformentioned hamster in a bag, I would find it now frozen solid....pet cryogenics WA state style! :) Paige is now spending the day at home with me. I figured that would be better than going to school and having to go through the whole story all day...sort of a healing time..
I told her that while she may not want to think about it right NOW, she could chose another pet when she is ready (I know..I just don't learn do I?) and I also told Ben that he was old enough to have one as well (hey, in for a penny in for a pound I say!). His response? "Great. And you know the BEST thing about me owning a pet?" No Ben, what? "When it dies, I get a free day off school!". Boys..they sure a different breed.
So anyways..RIP Wasabi, and for the rest of you? Gung Hay Fat Choy!!
Hugs
Jaye
Around HERE, however, it's the Day of the Hamster,or the passing thereof. Paiges little Panda Bear Hamster 'Wasabi' died in her sleep last night. She was 13 months old, which is sort of average for a hamster. Paige was heartbroken and I tried to say all the right things, while validating her feelings of sheer sorrow. If someone could use all the science available and 'invent' a pet that wouldn't die, parents everywhere would flock to buy one. It would seriously take one of the little pains out of childhood not to mention parenthood, to not ever have to deal with a pet death..
Paige cried for awhile, then her tears dried up and she got onto the 'logistics' of this death. Like how to bury Wasabi. She decided to fill up a gift bag (don't ask!) with pine shavings and put a napkin wrapped Wasabi into it and seal it up. Said bag containing one dead hamster is now in the shed, awaiting Marks return from sea, so he can attend the funeral. Thankfully this is not summer time, and I believe if I were to check on aformentioned hamster in a bag, I would find it now frozen solid....pet cryogenics WA state style! :) Paige is now spending the day at home with me. I figured that would be better than going to school and having to go through the whole story all day...sort of a healing time..
I told her that while she may not want to think about it right NOW, she could chose another pet when she is ready (I know..I just don't learn do I?) and I also told Ben that he was old enough to have one as well (hey, in for a penny in for a pound I say!). His response? "Great. And you know the BEST thing about me owning a pet?" No Ben, what? "When it dies, I get a free day off school!". Boys..they sure a different breed.
So anyways..RIP Wasabi, and for the rest of you? Gung Hay Fat Choy!!
Hugs
Jaye
Saturday, January 10, 2009
Three Hundred Days
Three Hundred Days. Say that a few times. Three Hundred Days. That's a lot of days. Almost a year. OVER Three Hundred Days..say that a few times. Thats even closer to being a year.
That's how long Mark will be gone this year. Over Three Hundred Days. I try not to say it too many times. It catches in my throat if I do. I am busy with the wives group, gearing up for Mission. Getting calendar pages together (for a dollar a page you can buy a 'date' on the calendar and make a scrapbook page to send out that will get posted on the mess decks on it's appropriate day and your sailor can take it down and post it in his rack), making his 1/2 way box (a box of treats and pictures and letters and fun stuff he gets half way through mission to celebrate them making it through half way), writing in and post dating a huge, huge, huge pile of cards that I'll send out with him to open all through out Mission. I am doing all these things knowing how vital they are to his morale. And yet, the more I get done, the closer I know I am getting to D day. Deployment day.
How do I get through this? One day at a time. One step at a time. One breath at a time. One heartbeat at a time. I put one foot in front of the other, put a smile on my face and just do it. I keep my business running. I keep the house running. I keep making all the holidays special for the kids. I read bedtime stories, get the oil changed, take the garbage to the curb...all the many little things of daily life. And each time I do it, I can check off one less time I'll have to do it alone. I didn't sign on to be a single mom. After all, I'd been one for a few years before I met Mark. But I knew what I was getting into the day I said 'yes' to my best friend as he was on one knee on a quiet pier in the middle of December all those years ago. I said 'yes' to him because I loved him. Because I believed in him. Because I knew that I had found a man who not only had a belief system, but was willing to put his life on the line to defend that system.
Not too many men are willing to do that. Not too many are willing to sacrifice all it takes to be in the military. You don't have a good paying job. You don't have many holidays with your family. You miss a lot of 'firsts'. First day of kindergarden. First tooth. First word. But they do it anyway, because they know that this country will not stay free on its own. Someone has to heed the call of duty, and without hesitation a very few step up and heed this call. I am married to one such man. I would love him and respect him no matter WHAT job he did. Ditch digger. Garbage man. Pastor. Attorney. Computer geek. But to see him kiss his children goodbye...see him swing his sea bag over his shoulder and proudly go do what he truly believes in, in spite of all he has to miss, is truly awe inspiring. My respect for him knows no bounds. My love for him is forever more.
And so, I keep moving forward to his deployment. I make the cards. The banners. The calendar pages. I check and double check that everything is signed and initialed and okayed before he leaves. And I go forward knowing that this time too shall pass and he will be home again. Like every year for the past 12 years that we have been together. Granted, this year he will be gone much longer....but love knows no limits. I will be here. He will be home. And life will go on.
I'm not posting about this because I think I am doing something courageous. Or special. Or unique. I am not. I am one of thousands doing this. I post about this because I want everyone to know what the men and women in the military go through. What they give up. What their lives are like. What they sacrifice so that we can ALL have the life that we have in a free country where we can say and think what we want.
So go to sleep tonight knowing that you are safe. For while you sleep, my husband and his shipmates are patrolling the seas, keeping enemies at bay and keeping our shores safe. It comes at a high price and with plenty of sacrifices. But they wouldn't have it any other way, and neither would any of their families.
Hugs to all,
Jaye
That's how long Mark will be gone this year. Over Three Hundred Days. I try not to say it too many times. It catches in my throat if I do. I am busy with the wives group, gearing up for Mission. Getting calendar pages together (for a dollar a page you can buy a 'date' on the calendar and make a scrapbook page to send out that will get posted on the mess decks on it's appropriate day and your sailor can take it down and post it in his rack), making his 1/2 way box (a box of treats and pictures and letters and fun stuff he gets half way through mission to celebrate them making it through half way), writing in and post dating a huge, huge, huge pile of cards that I'll send out with him to open all through out Mission. I am doing all these things knowing how vital they are to his morale. And yet, the more I get done, the closer I know I am getting to D day. Deployment day.
How do I get through this? One day at a time. One step at a time. One breath at a time. One heartbeat at a time. I put one foot in front of the other, put a smile on my face and just do it. I keep my business running. I keep the house running. I keep making all the holidays special for the kids. I read bedtime stories, get the oil changed, take the garbage to the curb...all the many little things of daily life. And each time I do it, I can check off one less time I'll have to do it alone. I didn't sign on to be a single mom. After all, I'd been one for a few years before I met Mark. But I knew what I was getting into the day I said 'yes' to my best friend as he was on one knee on a quiet pier in the middle of December all those years ago. I said 'yes' to him because I loved him. Because I believed in him. Because I knew that I had found a man who not only had a belief system, but was willing to put his life on the line to defend that system.
Not too many men are willing to do that. Not too many are willing to sacrifice all it takes to be in the military. You don't have a good paying job. You don't have many holidays with your family. You miss a lot of 'firsts'. First day of kindergarden. First tooth. First word. But they do it anyway, because they know that this country will not stay free on its own. Someone has to heed the call of duty, and without hesitation a very few step up and heed this call. I am married to one such man. I would love him and respect him no matter WHAT job he did. Ditch digger. Garbage man. Pastor. Attorney. Computer geek. But to see him kiss his children goodbye...see him swing his sea bag over his shoulder and proudly go do what he truly believes in, in spite of all he has to miss, is truly awe inspiring. My respect for him knows no bounds. My love for him is forever more.
And so, I keep moving forward to his deployment. I make the cards. The banners. The calendar pages. I check and double check that everything is signed and initialed and okayed before he leaves. And I go forward knowing that this time too shall pass and he will be home again. Like every year for the past 12 years that we have been together. Granted, this year he will be gone much longer....but love knows no limits. I will be here. He will be home. And life will go on.
I'm not posting about this because I think I am doing something courageous. Or special. Or unique. I am not. I am one of thousands doing this. I post about this because I want everyone to know what the men and women in the military go through. What they give up. What their lives are like. What they sacrifice so that we can ALL have the life that we have in a free country where we can say and think what we want.
So go to sleep tonight knowing that you are safe. For while you sleep, my husband and his shipmates are patrolling the seas, keeping enemies at bay and keeping our shores safe. It comes at a high price and with plenty of sacrifices. But they wouldn't have it any other way, and neither would any of their families.
Hugs to all,
Jaye
Monday, January 05, 2009
Happy Birthday Paige
Ten years ago today, after three hours of labor and two pushes (maybe three?) Paige came into this world. Not crying, but looking around her like "Oh...so THIS is what all that noise was". I have a picture of her being weighed etc and Mark is reading "One Fish, Two Fish, Red Fish, Blue Fish" to her. He had read that book to her every night since I was three weeks pregnant. She is just staring up at him with such intent eyes. The nurses later told Mark they'd never seen a baby like that before. We should have known then what a wonder she was! Three months later she was crawling ( I kid you not, I checked the dates in her baby book!) and five months later she was walking ON HER OWN. She knew baby sign language and so could communicate with us long before she could talk. Her favourite thing to sign was "more fishy cracker". She is still crazy about fishy crackers! She has SUCH a sense of humor too...quite frankly she has a wickedly good sense of humor and I can't wait to see how it develops as she grows older. Smart is a given..she's in a gifted program. But more important than anything else, she has a heart full of genuineness. She truly cares about people and I believe she is even a bit of an empath. She can sense things about people. She talks often about things being deja vu. She is our quirky child that is for sure...and we wouldn't have her any other way.
So Happy Birthday Paige! Double digits for you. You won't change digits until you are 100, and knowing you, you'll live past that as well! :)
Mark is out to sea so instead of a big birthday celebration today, we went to Applebees for dinner. I also made an 'owl' cake for her class today (pictured below). I am planning a 'detective party' for her for when Mark is home from sea as that is when she wanted to have it. Mark has not missed one birthday party of hers yet, she didn't want this to be the first!
Hugs and love
Jaye (Mom)
So Happy Birthday Paige! Double digits for you. You won't change digits until you are 100, and knowing you, you'll live past that as well! :)
Mark is out to sea so instead of a big birthday celebration today, we went to Applebees for dinner. I also made an 'owl' cake for her class today (pictured below). I am planning a 'detective party' for her for when Mark is home from sea as that is when she wanted to have it. Mark has not missed one birthday party of hers yet, she didn't want this to be the first!
Hugs and love
Jaye (Mom)
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