This blog is about 'terminology'. Very often the words or phrases that have been passed down through the ages have connotations that aren't so great. A prime example of this is the term 'step-mother'. When Hollywood has a 'stepmother' in a movie, she often isn't the nicest person on the planet to say the least (the ONLY exception to this is the role Julia Roberts played in Stepmother. In this case, they did an awesome job of portraying what MOST biological mothers are like and what MOST step mothers are like in real life!). Any fairy tale you read doesn't use the term 'stepmother', they use 'Wicked Stepmother' or 'Evil Stepmother'..you don't have to be a rocket scientist to figure out that this woman is not going to be the best thing in the childs life! hehe.....
So on that note, Shelby and I had a discussion this summer...about the term 'step mother' and 'step daughter'. We decided they weren't our favorite phrases. So I proposed a phrase that we use in the step parents support group that I belong to. Bonus Mom and Bonus Daughter.....think about it for a minute. When you buy a package of your favorite product and it says '20% bonus'..what does that mean? It means you buy your regular product, but this time, there is a bonus, an EXTRA, a FREEBIE that comes with it....and don't we just LOVE a bonus? A freebie????
So Shelby and I have decided that I am her Bonus Mom and she is my Bonus Daughter. She is the extra...the freebie...the side benefit I got when I married her father. She is that something extra that I wasn't expecting but that came with the 'package' and that I just was thrilled to get! And I am her 'extra mom'...another woman in her life that can add a different perspective....lend an ear....just be there when needed.
Now doesn't THAT sound much better than 'Wicked Stepmother'? :)
Hugs to you all
Jaye
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