I don't often talk about my family or my childhood. The only positive thing I can say is that I have three brothers from it all, one of whom is just the best friend one could ever ask for! :)
So...why do I bring this topic up now? The past few months have been very interesting indeed thanks to internet technology. I recently started a 'facebook' page. I love facebook as it has allowed me to touch base with old high school friends, ex co workers...lots of friends from my past whom I really want to keep in touch with always...I have also 'been found' by people. Most of which are good experiences...some of which have given me pause.
Those that have given me cause to pause and think are members of my biological fathers family. I have chosen to not be in touch with these people for most of my life....the past 25 years or so. The reasons are very clear...most of them all keep in touch with each other, including my bio father. I have a permanent restraining order against this man due to him threatening me on two occasions to kill not only me but my children and actively seeking to do so (I have had police come to my home and measure it for an alarm system in the past!). Since moving to the States this threat is non existent simply because my whereabouts are not greatly advertised. My bio father is a vile human being. He is a convicted pedophile as well as a suspected rapist/murderer. As a child we moved every year, usually in the winter. I found out as an adult this was because every spring the snow would melt and a young girls body would be found and he wanted to be well away by the time that happened. (I am seriously NOT making this crap up!). Anywho..you can see why I'd be very reticent to keep in touch with anyone from his side of the nut tree! :)
I have been pleasantly surprised however! I have received many heartfelt apologies for what he did and their part in allowing him to keep in touch with my movements over the years. He has become an outcast in his family and the family is reaching out to my brothers and I.....I am cautious....but optimistic.
Now comes another thought on this topic....two events have simultaneously happened. A Seigo family reunion is being planned for August of 2009. I would like to attend but with my bio father still breathing on this planet, I am not willing to take the risk of showing up and having him appear as well......however, I have recently been told he is on his last legs and on all sorts of machinery in the hospital. Keep in mind, I have heard various versions of this story many times and so am currently trying to get verification of this. SO. If my bio father is dead by August of 2009 I will be attending a family reunion of people I haven't spoken to in 25 years....scary...exciting...strange....
And if my bio father dies? I won't be sad. I also won't celebrate. It will just be a well timed end to a very long, very painful part of my life. I won't wish him to hell.....but I won't waste my time grieving either....
I will keep you posted....
Hugs
Jaye
2 comments:
Wow, Jaye. I guess this is where you draw all your strength and wisdom from -- a lifetime of hardship and upheaval. I simply cannot imagine what it must be like. It confirms for me, though, one thought I always have when I get a brutal crime that comes across my desk at work or even when I hear about some terrible act from across the country. I always think of the victim first, then the victim's family, and then the perpetrator's family. The perpetrator's family are victim's, too. Love and prayers to you!
I was a victim in that he molested me and also his daughter which means changing my last name was wonderful as I was no longer associated with 'that man' ya know?
I wouldn't wish that childhood on anyone, but the way I look at it is it made me the person that I am today and I LIKE me! :)
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