Sitting out the Dance

So we have come to another chapter in our lives. We are refusing to engage. Refusing to 'do the dance' any longer. Let me explain.

Marys latest attempt to batter our lives is to take Marks visitation with Shelby from 11 weeks a year down to 5. Our atty looked at it and told us there is NO judge who will allow it. She will NEVER get it. Then he asked for a $2500 dollar 'retainer fee' as this was a 'new motion' and then wanted $250 bucks an hour to further the fight. Mark is away on travel and so I took this info with me and ruminated about it until I could talk to him later in the day. By the time we would be finished just this one motion, we would have to have forked out almost $5000. For what? A judge to tell her YET AGAIN, that she is not going to get her way, stop filing frivolous motions and leave the courtroom? She has been in contempt of court five times already! She files motions like they are a dime a dozen. We think her parents, who are equally as sick as she is, are helping to fund this current flurry of motions (five and counting this month!). So....we are refusing to dance this round. We are calling Uncle and walking away. We do NOT want to lose visitation time with Shelby, but enough is enough. We do not want to keep throwing money into a never ending hole.......time to let it go.

Mark will get Shelby a month each summer (instead of 8 weeks)...he will get her every other spring break (instead of EVERY spring break) and every other Christmas (which is what we have now so that isn't a change). We are just done. We cannot keep borrowing money, we cannot keep scraping money together and giving up things we want to do, we can't keep sacrificing OUR families needs (let alone wants!) simply to keep up this 14 year old battle that Mary insists on constantly fighting. We are letting it go.

And it feels good! Shelby is old enough to see what is going on. She will be an adult in a few short years (three years and nine months to be exact). At that point in time, Mark can see her more if they both so desire....in the meantime, we will enjoy her for a few weeks a year.

We have a contempt issue we have to finish. She has charged Mark with contempt, and won't win as none of the issues are contemptable...but we DO have to fight that one. Then in September we have a child support hearing...yes, on top of all of this, Mary wants MORE money. And quite honestly that is what most of this is about. She regrets having left Mark. Her life has totally sucked for the past 14 years and she has regrets. Mark did not curl up and die when she left. He carried on and created a good life for himself...found a great wife and had more children. He is living the life she wanted to live and that she left. Regret causes people to be mean sometimes....and so she goes after him in the only two ways she thinks will hurt him the most. His child and his money. So let her have the child (we won't totally lose visitation!) and let her have some more money.

In the end, we still have a far superior life. And now that we aren't 'doing the dance', we'll have more money too! lolol...

Oh to win the lottery and obliterate her off the planet! lololol....

Hugs to all,
Jaye
ps...After all the court drama last week, Mary decided she could not afford to change Shelbys plane ticket on such short notice and so Shelby arrived as planned originally on Saturday! So we wasted another 1200 bucks or so just so Mary could screw around.....ugh. Maybe NEXT year we'll get to do some landscaping!!