Three Hundred Days

Three Hundred Days. Say that a few times. Three Hundred Days. That's a lot of days. Almost a year. OVER Three Hundred Days..say that a few times. Thats even closer to being a year.

That's how long Mark will be gone this year. Over Three Hundred Days. I try not to say it too many times. It catches in my throat if I do. I am busy with the wives group, gearing up for Mission. Getting calendar pages together (for a dollar a page you can buy a 'date' on the calendar and make a scrapbook page to send out that will get posted on the mess decks on it's appropriate day and your sailor can take it down and post it in his rack), making his 1/2 way box (a box of treats and pictures and letters and fun stuff he gets half way through mission to celebrate them making it through half way), writing in and post dating a huge, huge, huge pile of cards that I'll send out with him to open all through out Mission. I am doing all these things knowing how vital they are to his morale. And yet, the more I get done, the closer I know I am getting to D day. Deployment day.

How do I get through this? One day at a time. One step at a time. One breath at a time. One heartbeat at a time. I put one foot in front of the other, put a smile on my face and just do it. I keep my business running. I keep the house running. I keep making all the holidays special for the kids. I read bedtime stories, get the oil changed, take the garbage to the curb...all the many little things of daily life. And each time I do it, I can check off one less time I'll have to do it alone. I didn't sign on to be a single mom. After all, I'd been one for a few years before I met Mark. But I knew what I was getting into the day I said 'yes' to my best friend as he was on one knee on a quiet pier in the middle of December all those years ago. I said 'yes' to him because I loved him. Because I believed in him. Because I knew that I had found a man who not only had a belief system, but was willing to put his life on the line to defend that system.

Not too many men are willing to do that. Not too many are willing to sacrifice all it takes to be in the military. You don't have a good paying job. You don't have many holidays with your family. You miss a lot of 'firsts'. First day of kindergarden. First tooth. First word. But they do it anyway, because they know that this country will not stay free on its own. Someone has to heed the call of duty, and without hesitation a very few step up and heed this call. I am married to one such man. I would love him and respect him no matter WHAT job he did. Ditch digger. Garbage man. Pastor. Attorney. Computer geek. But to see him kiss his children goodbye...see him swing his sea bag over his shoulder and proudly go do what he truly believes in, in spite of all he has to miss, is truly awe inspiring. My respect for him knows no bounds. My love for him is forever more.

And so, I keep moving forward to his deployment. I make the cards. The banners. The calendar pages. I check and double check that everything is signed and initialed and okayed before he leaves. And I go forward knowing that this time too shall pass and he will be home again. Like every year for the past 12 years that we have been together. Granted, this year he will be gone much longer....but love knows no limits. I will be here. He will be home. And life will go on.

I'm not posting about this because I think I am doing something courageous. Or special. Or unique. I am not. I am one of thousands doing this. I post about this because I want everyone to know what the men and women in the military go through. What they give up. What their lives are like. What they sacrifice so that we can ALL have the life that we have in a free country where we can say and think what we want.

So go to sleep tonight knowing that you are safe. For while you sleep, my husband and his shipmates are patrolling the seas, keeping enemies at bay and keeping our shores safe. It comes at a high price and with plenty of sacrifices. But they wouldn't have it any other way, and neither would any of their families.

Hugs to all,
Jaye