Wednesday, October 14, 2009

Parenting 101

As most of you know, I earned my Associates degree in Legal Sciences 18 months ago and am now able to be a paralegal. I will also be starting my Bachelors next fall in Psychology so that my long term goal of being a Guardian Ad Litem can be fulfilled. What is a Guardian Ad Litem you might ask? A GAL (acronym for!) is someone who is on the side of the children in any hearing. Be it divorce, custody,CPS etc etc. I just really think kids get a bum deal in the legal system and I'd like to sort of level the playing field, even if its only one child at a time!

In the meantime, I have opened a before/after school care program so that I can stay home with my kids while they are still young as Mark is out to sea so much. I get to be home, bring in a little cash...it's a win/win situation. In doing so, I sure do get to see how some people interpret 'parenting'. OH MY.

I have one set of parents who have two boys. One I had last year on a half day basis as he was in Kindergarden. His older brother meanwhile was in the Y kids program at the school before and after school. This year, they are BOTH with me before and after school. The younger one because he is now in Grade One and only needs before/after school care, and the older one was yanked out of Y kids because his parents just weren't happy with the program (as are a lot of parents in this area). Now older brother is a bit of a.....well...I'll just say it..he's a bit of a little shit. There. I said it. He enjoys tormenting other kids. He barely knows basic math facts (he's in fourth grade!!!). He has learned that if he sits like a lump at the table, his parents will eventually do his homework for him. He lies. He forgets constantly to turn in assignments. He fails tests.The kid has issues ok?In spite of it all, Mom and Dad reward Jr. with all sorts of things, like soap box derby racing...and unicycling club to name a few. I have been working with him since September and he's made GREAT strides! We are working on his memory. I've got a notebook in his backpack that goes back and forth between his teacher and I so that we can each know what is going on. Now his parents are under the MISTAKEN impression that I am his Nanny or Tutor or something and not simple before/after school care! After a weekend, the boys have not done ANY of their homework. Mom and Dad figure I can help them with it. Often their dad drops them off in the morning and tells me "oh, you need to tell C's teacher that he needs ________' or 'S has an envelope in his backpack, you need to ensure it gets to his teacher'. My response has always been "Oh no..YOU can tell his teacher by writing it in his notebook" or "actually, getting the envelope to his teacher is S's concern, not mine". And I smile sweetly. And dear old Dad doesn't quite know what to say. I have also had to tell Mom that the help her child needs with his homework is BEYOND just 'homework time' at daycare, but goes well into 'tutoring'. That if she would like to pay an extra fee, I would be more than HAPPY to tutor him in the mornings, but I cannot take that much time with ONE child when I have six others to attend to at the same time. (or here's a thought. She could actually work with him on his math facts at home!)

Anywho....yesterday, I get a call from dear old Mom. She says to me....now don't let your jaw drop to the floor..I know it will even though I told you not to...but don't say you weren't warned ok? She says to me "Hey, S has an 11 oclock Doctors app't and a 1230 dentist app't tomorrow, You can do it right?". UH? WHA?? Now my first thought is, What parent in their right mind asks their daycare provider to take their kids to their doctor/dentists app'ts???? Doesn't she want to know what is up with her kid? Due to Hippa laws, they aren't going to tell ME anything. So she kinda needs to be there! Secondly, does she not think I have a life and maybe, just maybe other things going on? That maybe I'm not just sitting around waiting for her to call so I can run after her kids for her?

Anyways. I told her I had made other plans. She got huffy with me and said "Well fine then, I'll just have to get off work early or something'. Yah..like every other parent! Hello! I told Dad this morning that while I am willing (for a fee!) to take their kids to app'ts I am NOT going to just change my schedule at the drop of a hat and that I need more than one days notice. I also need to be consulted as to the time of the app'ts as I have other things scheduled into my days. Ugh.

These are the same parents who sent their one son to daycare this morning with no socks. Keep in mind we are in the midst of an Autumn storm. Wind. Pouring rain. cold. And a kid with no socks. ugh.

Don't even get me started on the parents...the obese parents...whose two children ages 6 and 3 are both overweight and eat nothing but crap at home.

sigh.

See? This is a good training ground to be a GAL.

Hugs to all,

Jaye

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