Marriage, Divorce.....sadness....

There is no doubt that marriage is hard work. It takes effort and time and commitment. It takes compromise and honesty. You need to work hard and play harder. Laugh and joke. And your good days should outweigh the bad days.

Sadly, this doesn't always happen. This week, I've had two couples close to us have their marriages either fall apart or begin to fall apart. Actually, one apparently started falling apart awhile ago, but I found out about it this week. Not sure if it's beyond repair..or if the parties involved even care anymore. I think there is more of a 'me' mindset going on and not enough 'we'. But we shall see.....at least I am geographically removed from it so it's not as hard to see.

The other couple on the other hand live four minutes away and are very very very dear friends of Mark and I. We've known them as long as we've lived here. He served with Mark on the Alabama, our kids are the same ages (ok..our two youngest kids are the same ages..they aren't crazy enough to have five...thankfully!), and her and I have become fast friends over the past years...we were 'patrol buddies' when our husbands were on the same submarine, which meant dinners at each others houses, coffee breaks at starbucks..movies with the kids on base. When the guys were home, we'd spend time at each others homes...grilling out..having bon fires.

They are great people. Still are actually. And I love them both very much. I suppose that is why I am feeling so very powerless as I watch their marriage..that has been shaky for awhile, just completely fall apart this week. I hope it can be saved. And I think THEY do to...only they each want it on their own terms.

I also find it deeply saddening. I have told my friend I WON'T choose sides. But I know that if this goes the way it is looking, that the 'friendship' as couples is going to change...out of necessity of course. We'll have HIM over and then HER over....I worry about their kids. I worry about the pain each of them is going through right now.

One of the hardest things is that I just want to curl up in Marks arms and feel sad for our friends. But he is out to sea. So I am sad alone. And maybe that is why I feel this so deeply. I remember the feelings of sadness and 'aloneness' I felt when I was going through this process. Unless you have been through it yourself, you cannot imagine the gut wrenching, soul changing emotions you feel. And I know my friend is going through all this right now. And I hurt for her. And I've cried for them both. And I keep the prayers going. And I keep hopeful. But mostly I am just sad this week....so very very sad.

Hugs to all of you,
Jaye