Happy Mothers Day!

Being a parent is not always a choice. Sometimes Mother Nature just decides that it's 'your turn' and voila...you're a parent. This isn't a post about abortion or pro life or any of that. It's simply about becoming a parent..whether it was planned or not, so keep the 'but you had choices' emails to yourselves! :) So..you become a parent, for better or worse...prepared or not...irregardless of the example you had of how to be a parent.
And so you bring home this child and do your best. You breastfeed if you think thats the best for them. You debate to immunize or not. You limit sugar and additives and tv..you read to them at bedtime..you put their prospective play dates through a grilling that would make the FBI proud. You ask all the right questions, you do all the right things. At least you think you do. Sometimes we make choices for our kids that backfire. Like choosing a religion for them. I did that for my first two kids. Then I left that religion. And now my oldest child can't speak to me (so she thinks!) because I no longer wear that religious label. Her choice I like to tell myself. But her choice is a direct result of MY choice for her. Her brother chose to get out like I did and we have a great relationship...so I guess in a way it IS her choice to have shunned me..but then again...and so it goes..I go around and around on this issue in my mind. I breastfed her. I didn't immunize her (thus avoiding Autism! lol). I watched the sugar intake. I limited violent games and tv shows. She had the best I had to give. Only SHE thinks I am the worst...because we aren't the same religion.....see how easy it is to go around and around on this? Sigh....Happy Mothers Day to me.

Sometimes we have parents who can't or won't love us unconditionally. They will love us IF. I have a mother like that. She will love me IF. IF I belong to the same religion. IF I think the way she does. IF I tow the religious party line. I don't. SO. She hasn't met my two younger kids nor my bonus daughter. She hasn't met my brothers son (he too wont' tow the religious party line). She hasn't spoken to me but a handful of times in the past 15 years. Happy Mothers Day Sharon.

I married a man who had a child before he met me. She lives full time with her mother who is.......an adventure to say the least. This child..this woman child (she is 15 now!) is wonderful when she is here with us. She is loving and kind and sweet. When she goes back home to her mother, she knows that to show love to her father is tantamount to saying she is now a devil worshipper. So she ignores her father to save her relationship with her mother, who btw is going through her third divorce...so you KNOW the atmosphere in that home. Happy Mothers Day Mary.

I have given birth to two other children. I breast fed them. I didn't immunize them. I didn't limit sugar so much..but I do watch their tv intake. I loved them like all the others..and they adore me as does their older brother! Happy Mothers Day to ME! :)

My husbands parents are cut from a different mold than my own disfunctional parents. These two people love their kids undconditionally. No IFS. No ANDS. No BUTS. They just love them. They are proud of them. They say "I love you" at the end of every phone call. They draw you in and love you even if they didn't give birth to you. They tell it like it is but then they love the crap out of you. I learned how to be a parent from them. I learned how to love from them and their son..who is a direct result of their parenting. My husbands mother...MY Mom now too...is the kind of woman we should all strive to be. She is kind. She is funny. She eats cheescake and doesn't care about her arteries. She has a fashion sense that we could all take a page from. And she loves her family. And she loves God. And she loves her husband (now my DAD! YAY FOR ME!!!!)....so Happy Mothers Day Mom!! I love you!

Happy Mothers Day to ALL my friends who are mothers...and those who arent...because the act of giving birth isn't the ONLY way to be a Mom! One of my dearest friends is the BEST mom...and he is a....HE! :)

Hugs to all,
Jaye